Physical and Sexual Development
Natural Humanists recognise that many people know very little about their own bodies, and about the bodies of people of other genders. They also acknowledge that many children are deliberately denied information about their bodies, about puberty, masturbation and sex, as a way of trying to control the expression of their own sexuality, and of infantilising them. Natural Humanists consider this to be completely unacceptable and believe that every child should have access to reliable information on all of these things from a very early age.
They acknowledge that puberty, the period during which all human beings ‘evolve’ from a child to a fully sexually mature human being, with an adult body, is one of the most important stages of a human being’s life. For these reasons, this book will go into detail about all aspects of puberty, including how both the body and the brain change during this period, as well as about sex, masturbation, sexuality, gender, love, relationships and polyamory.
Transgender
All discussion in this book about girls’ puberty applies equally to trans boys who don’t take puberty-blocking medication, and all discussion of boys’ puberty applies equally to trans girls who don’t take puberty-blocking medication.
Natural Humanists fully acknowledge that puberty can be a hugely stressful and distressing time for many trans girls and trans boys, as their bodies and behaviour are changing, totally beyond their control, in a way that’s not appropriate for the gender they consider themselves to be. Natural Humanists are hugely proud of the mental strength that is required to deal with this, and to deal with society’s negative, prejudiced attitudes towards trans people, and they value and celebrate all trans people, before, during and after any natural puberty, and before, during and after any transitional surgery or medication.
Natural Humanists fully recognise all trans people as the gender they consider themselves to be, but also fully acknowledge and celebrate their right to gain full and unrestricted sensual and sexual pleasure, from any type of sex or masturbation, which involves stimulation of any sexual parts of their body that they were born with, or any that develop during natural puberty because they’re not taking puberty blocking medication, and they equally celebrate trans people gaining unlimited pleasure from their bodies after any hormone treatment or surgery.
They celebrate trans boys freely, openly and proudly gaining unlimited sexual pleasure from their vulvas, vaginas and breasts, in any way they choose, and celebrate trans girls gaining unlimited sexual pleasure from their penises and prostate glands, whenever they wish to do so, without this ever being seen as, in any way, making them less of the boys and girls that they consider themselves to be.
They also celebrate all of the sexual and emotional pleasure that can be experienced by all concerned when trans people happily choose to share these experiences with others, whether or not they have had gender-realignment surgery or any hormonal treatment at the time, and all of the loving bonds and meaningful relationships that can develop as a result.
While any trans girl or trans boy is at the age of puberty, whether or not they’re taking puberty-blocking medication, Natural Humanists encourage friends or siblings who are of the same gender that that person considers themselves to be, and who are going through puberty themselves, to offer to freely and continuously share information and experiences of their own puberty with them, as an act of kindness, if this is something that that person would like them to do, to allow them to feel more connected to the puberty of their own trans-gender. They also believe that, whenever this can be legally and safely enabled and is mutually consensual, this should also be allowed to include friends or siblings allowing them to see and touch any parts of their body that change during puberty, so that they can experience this puberty themselves, as fully as possible.
Puberty
Natural Humanists recognise that puberty is one of the most important stages of any human being’s life, during which they ‘evolve’ from being a child, to being a full ‘Natural Adult’, with a fully adult body, and full adult sexual and romantic drives and needs, who is fully capable of creating new human life, whether they choose to or not, and is capable of deeply loving romantic relationships, and of enjoying mutually pleasurable, highly orgasmic sex.
The word ‘puberty’ comes from the Latin word puberatum, which means ‘age of maturity’ [i] and this puberty lasts a total of 4 years, at the end of which, a child’s body has become an adult body capable of sexual reproduction, although girls are capable of pregnancy from the moment their periods start, at 11-12 years old, on average[ii],[iii], which is usually 2 years after the start, and 2 years before the end of puberty, but with some girls, can be as early as 6 years old, or as late as 16 years old[iv]. Boys, however, on average, start puberty at 11½ to 12 years old, are capable of ejaculating semen at 13 years old, and finish puberty at 16-17 years old[v].
Puberty ends when a girl or boy, reaches full reproductive maturity, which is 4 years after the first physical changes of puberty appear. On average, girls start puberty at 9 years and 10 months old [vi],[vii],[viii], [ix], meaning that girls finish puberty and reach full sexual maturity when they’re still 13 years old, and reach their full adult height by 14-15 years old, whereas boys start puberty at 11 or 12 years old, become fully fertile at 14-15 years old, and reach their full adult height at 18 years old[x].
Natural Humanists consider children to be ‘Natural Adults’ from the moment that they first become capable of creating new human life, which for girls, is just before their first period, so at 11 years and 10 months old on average[xi],[xii], and for boys is from the first time that they’re capable of ejaculating sperm within semen, at 13 years old on average[xiii].
Male puberty:
Boys start puberty at around 11½ to 12 years old[xiv], by which time girls, who tend to start puberty at 9 years and 10 months old, on average[xv], are already capable of becoming pregnant and already have full adult-sized breasts.
From the very start of puberty, a boy’s testicles (or ‘balls’), which are contained within his scrotum (or ‘ball bag’), and which hang down underneath his penis, start to gradually become larger, until, eventually, about 6 years later, at around 17½ to 18 years old, his testicles are 13 times larger than their original size[xvi]. A year after this growth begins, at 12½ to 13 years old, the length and breadth of his penis, both the main section (called the ‘shaft’), and the purple head or tip (called the ‘glans’), also start to permanently increase[xvii].
Puberty also causes a boy’s foreskin, which fully covers, hides and protects the head of the penis, to gradually become wider[xviii], so that, by 12 to 13 years old, 60% of boys can comfortably pull back their foreskin, to fully reveal the purple head of their penis and, by 16-17 years old, 95% of boys can do so[xix].
In addition to changes to their penis, testicles, scrotum and foreskin, boys’ voice boxes also grow during puberty, which causes their voices to permanently drop by about an octave, which is known as their voices ‘breaking’[xx]. Girls’ voice boxes also grow in puberty and their voices also become deeper, but by nowhere near as much[xxi].
During puberty, boys develop pubic hair above the penis, and on the scrotum, and then, over many years, they gradually develop hair in their armpits, around their anus, on their upper lip, in front of their ears, and in their beard area[xxii]. This facial hair often develops at around 15 or 16 years old, although some don’t develop it until well into adulthood[xxiii].
Hair grows and gradually becomes thicker and coarser for up to 2 to 10 years after the end of puberty, so well into the early, or even the late 20s, on the arms, legs, chest, abdomen, buttocks and back[xxiv], although some boys and men never develop any noticeable back or buttock hair, and some only ever develop small amounts of hair on their chest and abdomen.
All boys and men have ‘erections’, which is where their penis temporarily increases significantly in size, something that can occur whenever they’re sexually aroused, for example when they’re in the company of somebody they’re sexually attracted to, or when they’re fantasising, or touching or ‘playing’ with their penis.
Erections are always involuntary, so are out of a boy’s or man’s control, and during each erection, it takes about 10 seconds for the penis to grow to its full size, by which time it will be longer, wider and firmer, and it will usually be standing upright, with the purple head of the penis pointing upwards, which allows the penis to be easily inserted into a partner’s vagina if he has ‘sexual intercourse’ with her, without him having to carefully guide it into her vagina with his hands.
Erections last for as long as a boy or man is sexually aroused, or for as long as his penis is physically stimulated. During puberty, these erections can occur very frequently, including while asleep, when first waking up in the morning, and, spontaneously, at any time of day, which can sometimes be unwanted and embarrassing[xxv].
Erections cause the foreskin to automatically slide back, fully revealing the purple head of the penis, which remains fully visible until the erection eventually disappears, for example after masturbation has finished, or after having an orgasm, or when no longer feeling sexually aroused.
Boys’ testicles produce sperm, capable of making a female pregnant, from around 1 year after they start puberty[xxvi], so at around 12½ to 13 years old, and they continue to do so for the whole of the rest of their lives, even if they never have sex or masturbate.
These sperm are released from the erect penis whenever a boy or man has an orgasm, even if this orgasm is the result of masturbation while they’re alone, or some other sexual act, with a partner of any gender, rather than being due to sexual intercourse.
Boys and men’s orgasms last 3 to 10 seconds[xxvii],[xxviii], and involve frequent strong, involuntary contractions of the muscles in their pelvis, which cause pleasurable throbbing or tingling in the penis[xxix] and intense and highly pleasurable pulsating sensations, which travel to the tip of the penis, and which lead to an ‘ejaculation’[xxx], which is where a white creamy substance called semen automatically spurts out of the tip of the penis. This semen contains lots of tiny sperm, which are so small, that they can only be seen with a microscope.
Sexual intercourse (or ‘fucking’) involves sliding the purple tip of the penis, and the whole of the shaft of the penis (but not the testicles or the scrotum) into a partner’s vagina, before immediately sliding it almost fully back out again, and then immediately sliding it fully back into the vagina again, and continuing to repeat this ‘in and out’ motion, possibly hundreds of times, usually until the physically pleasurable sensations that this causes for both people, leads to one or both of them having an orgasm.
If a boy or man is having sexual intercourse at the time he has an orgasm, then the sperm within the semen that he ejaculates, will travel from the end of his penis towards his partner’s womb, where just one of these sperm may be able to successfully fertilise her egg and make her pregnant. The fact that the erection has temporarily made his penis longer, reduces the distance that these tiny sperm have to travel to reach this egg. However, if he’s wearing a condom on his penis at the time, then all of the semen and sperm that’s ejaculated, will remain within the condom and won’t enter his partner’s body at all.
The increased length and width of the penis during an erection also increases the physical pleasure that can be experienced by a girl or woman during any sexual intercourse, as this makes the penis more capable of physically stimulating the opening and walls of her vagina, and the internal section of her clitoris.
Whenever a boy or man has an orgasm and ejaculates, he automatically loses his erection[xxxi], [xxxii], almost straight away afterwards, so the penis becomes soft and floppy, and shrinks to its normal size, preventing him from masturbating or having intercourse, or having another orgasm, for up to several hours, or even days, depending on the individual[xxxiii],[xxxiv],[xxxv], although a lot of boys and men under 30, are able to have another erection after a relatively short time[xxxvi],[xxxvii], perhaps as little as a few minutes in younger males[xxxviii], which allows them to quickly continue to give and receive orgasms with their penis, if they continue to have sex or to masturbate.
Natural Humanists recognise that this means that boys and men under 30, are much more likely to be able to experience the pleasure of receiving multiple orgasms each day, which makes it immoral for it to be illegal for them to have sex in most countries for over half of these 30 years, if a way can be found for them to safely have sex, from whatever young age this can be legally and safely enabled.
Despite some boys’ and older men’s difficulty quickly regaining an erection after ejaculating, they continue to remain fully capable of giving any sexual partner both sexual pleasure and an unlimited number of orgasms, either by masturbating them, giving them highly pleasurable oral sex, or stimulating them with sex toys, all of which are significantly more likely to give girls or women sexual pleasure and orgasms, than any sexual acts that require an erect penis,[xxxix],[xl] so it’s the boy or man himself who is inconvenienced by this delay in regaining an erection, not any female partner, or partner of any other gender, who enjoys sex that doesn’t involve penetration with that boy’s or man’s penis.
Boys and men can only have an orgasm, and can only ejaculate semen, if their penis is erect, and is physically stimulated for long enough, usually during masturbation or sex, although they can also ejaculate if they have an intense sexual fantasy, usually while asleep, which is called a ‘wet dream’.
However, all boys (and presumably all trans girls) can gain sexual pleasure from touching or ‘playing with’ their penis, right from infancy onwards, and, in theory, can experience orgasms long before the start of puberty[xli], even though they aren’t capable of ejaculating sperm or semen until about a year after starting puberty.
Natural Humanists believe that, because of this, from infancy, all boys should be informed of their ability to obtain sexual pleasure from masturbating, and of exactly how to do so, possibly by a sex education cartoon or video, which includes information about intimate hygiene and the importance of never masturbating in any situation which might cause anybody else offence or distress.
They also believe that, if these early orgasms are considered to be sufficiently pleasurable, this may be a reason why, morally, boys should have a legal right to share sexual touching and stimulation of their own and other people’s genitals, in legal and carefully chaperoned situations, with anybody they choose, if this is what they would like to do, from whatever young age this can be legally and safely enabled.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, according to the award-winning Gynaecologist and author, Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith, nearly 100% of young people experience their first orgasms through masturbation[xlii].
Masturbation is any type of pleasurable physical stimulation of somebody’s own penis, vulva, or vagina, although some people also consider it to include any massaging or stimulation of a person’s own breasts, or any other areas of their body which give them sexual pleasure. Masturbation usually involves stimulating the body with a person’s own fingers or hands, but it can also be with a purpose-designed sex toy, or even with an object like a feather, a piece of sensual fabric, or even, with children, a teddy bear.
There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way of masturbating, as long as it’s physically pleasurable, and as long as nobody else ever witnesses this masturbation who might be offended by it, or is too young to be able to be safely and legally enabled to do so. Masturbation usually occurs alone, for example in bed, in the bath, or in theory in any other indoor or outdoor location where nobody else is around, although some people enjoy masturbating in front of a friend (or friends), or in front of a romantic partner, with them either both masturbating themselves at the same time, or taking turns to do so, or even masturbating each other.
Some people are only happy to be seen masturbating, but not to watch other people masturbate, whereas others are happy to watch other people masturbate, but only like to masturbate themselves in private. Some people masturbate in front of another person, or allow them to masturbate in front of them, purely to make that other person happy, but Natural Humanists feel that this is only appropriate if they are completely happy to do so, have not been pressured into it, and (if they are a child) they are being legally and professionally chaperoned.
Some people enjoy masturbating other people, for example friends or romantic partners, who may happily choose to masturbate them too in return (which is known as ‘mutual masturbation), something that Natural Humanists believe is completely acceptable if fully consensual, or if it can be safely enabled.
For somebody to masturbate their own, or somebody else’s penis, this will usually involve wrapping the whole hand around the shaft of the penis, or gripping the shaft between the thumb and the 2 fingers closest to the thumb, or just between the tips of these 2 fingers and the tip of this thumb. Whichever way the penis is gripped, it’s important that it’s constantly squeezed, while, at the same time, that gripped hand is continuously moved up and down the length of the penis, possibly until an orgasm occurs. If masturbating for a very long time, the penis can sometimes get a bit sore, but this is much more likely to occur if the penis was ‘circumcised’ in the past (where the foreskin has been surgically removed, usually for religious or cultural reasons). This problem can be solved by using a suitable lubricant throughout masturbation, or just when there is any discomfort, but for most people who haven’t been circumcised, discomfort rarely, if ever occurs.
If they happily wish to do so, which some people do not, boys and men, or anybody else, of any age or gender, can also experience physical pleasure if their anus (or ‘bum hole’), and the area around it, are stimulated[xliii], possibly by slowly and gently inserting a finger (preferably with short fingernails), or a purpose-designed sex toy, or an erect penis, into their anus, which is usually made easier by the use of a suitable lubricant. All boys and men, and all trans females have a prostate gland, just inside their body, which can be stimulated via their anus,[xliv],[xlv],[xlvi] potentially giving them intensely pleasurable[xlvii],[xlviii],[xlix] orgasms[l].
Girls and women (and trans males) can also experience pleasure, by gentle, lubricated penetration of their anus, as this seems to indirectly stimulate their ‘clitoris’, which has nerves connected to the anal area[li], and may also stimulate their ‘G-spot’ [lii],[liii] (both of which will be discussed later), although this rarely leads to an orgasm[liv],[lv], unless they also masturbate at the same time (or are masturbated by their partner)[lvi],[lvii].
Anybody can use a suitable-sized dildo, which is a handheld plastic object the size of an erect penis, to gently penetrate their own, or their partner’s anus (or vagina), by gently sliding it in with their hand. Alternatively, a dildo can be worn, by somebody of any gender, on a special belt, so that it can then be gently slid in and out of their partner’s anus, using a rocking motion of the wearer’s hips. For hygiene reasons, it’s essential to wash the hands, body and any sex toys very thoroughly, immediately after any type of anal sex.
Female puberty:
From birth, all human beings’ nipples are surrounded by a circular area of darker skin, called the ‘areola’, and the first sign that a girl has started puberty, will be a firm, tender lump under the centre of each of her areola, or possibly under just one of them[lviii].
6 to 12 months later, they’ll start to notice a gradually increasing amount of swelling underneath (and beyond the edges) of each areola, until, 12 months later, they’ll have breasts that are of full adult size and shape, and the areola and nipple will have formed a second raised mound on each breast, although, in some girls, this second mound will then gradually disappear over time[lix].
Girls therefore have full mature adult breasts by around 11 years and 4 months to 11 years and 10 months old, on average[lx],[lxi], which is at the same time, or around 6 months before, they have their first period[lxii], which is the point that they’re first capable of successfully conceiving, and eventually giving birth to a baby, at around 11 years and 4 months to 12 years and 4 months old on average[lxiii],[lxiv] although the chances of successfully becoming pregnant gradually increases further over the remaining 2 years of their puberty[lxv].
A girl’s visible external genitals are called her ‘vulva’, which consists of her outer lips (or ‘labia majora’), which can be gently parted to reveal both her ‘clitoral hood’ (a flap of skin that covers her ‘clitoris’), and, below, this, her inner lips (or ‘labia minora’). These inner lips can themselves be gently parted to reveal both the tiny opening of her urethra, through which she can urinate, and, below this, the opening of her vagina. All six of these things are collectively known as her ‘vulva’.
Inside a girl’s body is her ‘vagina’, which is an internal muscular tube, leading from the opening that is between the inner lips of her vulva, to her ‘cervix’, which is the neck of her womb (with her womb being where a baby will develop during the 9 months of any future pregnancy). A penis slides into her vagina if she chooses to have sexual intercourse, sperm travels through her vagina on its way to fertilising an egg (if a boy or man has an orgasm and ejaculates inside her), and a baby also passes through her vagina during childbirth, at which point her vagina is also referred to as her ‘birth canal’.
A girl’s first pubic hairs appeararound 3 months after she starts puberty, along the outer lips of her vulva, although in around 15% of girls, this pubic hair starts to develop before any early signs of breast development begin,[lxvi] so, on average, pubic hair starts to develop at between 9 years and 10 months and 10 years and 1 month old[lxvii],[lxviii],[lxix],[lxx]. Within 6-12 months, pubic hair will have spread to her pubic mound[lxxi] (a soft raised area just above her vulva, which helps to provide ‘cushioning’ during sexual intercourse[lxxii],[lxxiii]), and gradually to her entire pubic triangle. It sometimes also extends onto parts of her thighs and abdomen, and she’ll also develop underarm hair[lxxiv].
During puberty, the outer and inner lips of a girl’s vulva permanently increase in size, as does her pubic mound[lxxv],[lxxvi]. Her vagina, which is inside her body, also changes from a red to a dull pink colour[lxxvii] and becomes permanently wider, and its surface becomes more able to naturally lubricate itself whenever she’s sexually aroused, allowing it to comfortably accommodate the size and friction of a penis during intercourse[lxxviii], or any other type of masturbation or sex she might choose to take part in.
Puberty also causes the lower half of a girl’s pelvis, and her hips, to become wider, which make childbirth possible in the future, and her body lays down more fat, particularly in her breasts, hips, buttocks, pubic area, thighs and upper arms[lxxix], which is completely normal, natural and healthy.
When a baby is first developing in the womb, exactly the same structure in all embryos, can either develop into a boy’s penis, or into a girl’s clitoris, depending on the gender of the baby[lxxx],[lxxxi].
Crucially, during puberty, the visible part of a girl’s clitoris, which only seems to exist to give her sexual pleasure, and to help her to achieve orgasms, permanently increases in size[lxxxii], to become roughly the size of a pea, meaning that girls’ ability to experience significant pleasure from both sex and masturbation permanently increases, significantly, during puberty, an ability which Natural Humanists believe that nature ‘intended’ all girls to make full and unrestricted use of.
Also, every time a girl or woman is sexually aroused, her clitoris becomes temporarily erect[lxxxiii], where it significantly increases in size and becomes more able to experience physical pleasure, just like a boy’s or man’s penis does when he experiences an erection, and her clitoral hood, just like a boy’s foreskin, starts to retract, revealing part of the hidden clitoris[lxxxiv], which makes it more able to be sexually stimulated, to give her sexual pleasure.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that every girl, from the moment she’s born, has a clitoris, which seems to only exist at all to give her sexual pleasure and to allow her to experience orgasms. They acknowledge that, according to the award-winning Gynaecologist and author, Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith, girls are sometimes able to have pleasurable orgasms even at just 1 year old[lxxxv] and, although their puberty starts at 9 years and 10 months old, on average[lxxxvi], they’re often capable of experiencing orgasms of the same pleasurable intensity as adult women well before they even reach that age[lxxxvii].
Girls and women can experience significant sexual pleasure and can often experience one or even multiple orgasms if their whole vulva is massaged, slowly and gently at first, but then with increasing speed and pressure and perhaps increasingly focussing on the area around their clitoris, taking care not to stimulate the clitoris directly, as this can be uncomfortable. This can be done by a girl or woman herself, or by a friend or romantic partner, if she wishes this to happen and if it is legal and can be safely enabled. A partner can also give her pleasure by kissing, licking or sucking parts of her vulva, or by gently inserting their tongue, or a finger (with short fingernails) into her vagina, possibly with an in-out motion.
Natural Humanists share Dr. Hardwick-Smith’s belief, that the worst thing we can do, is to shame girls or boys, by telling them that masturbation is wrong[lxxxviii] and they believe, instead, that it’s the strong moral duty of society to decide on a way that allows both girls and boys to be educated, from infancy, about their own ability to gain sexual pleasure from stimulating their own genitals, and of their ability to achieve orgasms, and that this should include the creation of a video, available freely on the internet to all children, worldwide, which allows them to learn about this, in detail, regardless of the moral beliefs of their own parents, as they consider the ability to experience such pleasure to be a basic human right.
Such a video could either be of a cartoon girl or boy masturbating, or of a real child masturbating, which has been filmed legally, and possibly without human involvement, for example with the help of A.I., and is stored safely, to prevent anybody accessing it, until that child is 18, and is only then used in the educational video if that person, as an adult, consents to this happening, which they should have an absolute moral right to be able to do.
Similarly, they believe that, prior to reaching puberty, every child in the world should have the right to access a video which clearly explains puberty, shows actual girls and boys bodies at different stages of puberty (with these images having been filmed without the involvement of any other human being, and having been stored safely and not viewed by anybody, or used in the video, unless those children have consented to this, as an adult). They believe this video should go into explicit detail about all aspects of masturbation, sex and pleasurable alternatives to sex, including massage and bathing each other, as well as about menstruation (‘periods’), intimate hygiene, safe sex, conception, pregnancy, childbirth and relationships, and all about gender and sexuality.
At birth, a girl’s body already contains around 60,000 tiny little eggs, any one of which could be fertilised by a boy’s or man’s sperm and develop into a baby[lxxxix]. Each month, her body releases just one of these eggs, from around 2 years after the start of a girl’s puberty, until her menopause, in her 40s or 50s. Each egg that’s released will then either be fertilised by a boy’s or man’s sperm, leading to pregnancy, or it won’t be fertilised at all, and so it’ll be excreted during her monthly ‘period’.
Whenever a girl or woman is sexually aroused, her vagina automatically becomes wider, and lubricates itself with ‘vaginal fluid’[xc], to allow the insertion of a penis, and to ensure that intercourse is comfortable for both people, although this lubrication occurs even if this sexual arousal is not due to the presence of (or thoughts about) a boy or man, but is due to a person of any other gender instead, or is just due to physical stimulation of her body.
Historically, girls and women were considered to have ‘lost their virginity’ when their hymen, a thin band of flesh inside their vagina, was damaged, usually the first time a penis entered the vagina, and it was seen as shameful for any female to lose her virginity to anybody but her husband. However, Natural Humanists acknowledge that the hymen can rupture for a variety of reasons, including when a girl or woman first uses a tampon or menstrual cup, or uses a sex toy, or when her own or her partner’s fingers or tongue penetrate her vagina, or even during a medical examination, and they do not believe that this constitutes ‘loss of virginity’, or that it is in any way negative.
They recognise the right of people who do not have a vagina, and of people who do not have sex with people with a penis, to make up their own minds about whether or not they have ‘lost their virginity’, but they usually assume this to mean that they have had ‘full sex’ with another person for the first time in their lives, whatever ‘full sex’ might mean to the person concerned.
Natural Humanists believe that every human being should be free to lose their virginity with anybody they choose, at whatever age they choose, and whether or not they’re in a committed romantic relationship at the time, and they value virgins and non-virgins equally. They also believe that it’s perfectly acceptable for any girl or woman, and for any other child or adult, of any other gender, to choose to never have intercourse, but instead to only have other forms of sex, or to only masturbate, or to not engage in any sexual activity at all, but that this should always be a choice that they make freely, knowing about all of the options that are available to them, and that no other human being, or any religious, moral or cultural group or organisation, should ever try to control or influence their decision, or criticise or punish them, or any of their partners, as a result.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that it’s considered, by many experts, to be normal, common and developmentally appropriate, for children to take part in sexual activity[xci], and indeed more than 50% of children aged 12 years or younger are believed to take part in sexual activities, including sharing sexual experiences with other people[xcii], fondling and exploring each other’s genitals, and masturbation[xciii].
It’s seen as a sign of healthy psychosexual development for children to physically explore their own genitals[xciv], [xcv] often from around 6 months old in boys, and around 10 months old in girls[xcvi] and they often continue to do this throughout early childhood.
Research suggests that children, aged 3 or under, sometimes touch their own genitals, or like to look at other people’s[xcvii], and that, at 3 to 7 years old, they may start touching their own genitals more[xcviii],[xcix], and may sometimes try to see other people getting dressed or undressed and try to explore other children’s and adults’ bodies as well[c],[ci],[cii], out of curiosity[ciii].
Some children play sex games with each other like ‘playing Doctor’, which allows them to see, touch and examine each other’s bodies and genitals, sometimes, but not necessarily, while pretending to be a doctor, who is examining a patient[civ],[cv],[cvi],[cvii]. Most child psychologists consider this curiosity and exploration, and these sex games, to be a normal part of child development, at around 3 to 6 years old[cviii], if everyone takes part willingly[cix], and, according to one researcher, sex games do not negatively affect children’s adjustment and development, as long as they’re gentle, and everybody involved wants to take part[cx].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, at this age, and throughout their childhood, children, and particularly girls, are susceptible to being groomed by their family, and by society, to be unnecessarily and unhealthily modest, and to only be naked and carry out some activities in private[cxi], such as bathing, dressing, personal grooming and masturbation, or playing, dancing or swimming naked, and so they believe it’s even more important than normal, from this age onwards, to teach them, instead, to behave in ways that make them feel happy, comfortable and free, but don’t cause other people offence, and are always with their permission, rather than allowing tradition, and religious and cultural norms, to dictate unhealthy, inappropriate and potentially harmful control of their natural instincts, behaviours, rights and freedoms, which might affect them for the rest of their life.
They believe that each child’s own personal preferences, wishes and desires should always be taken into account, and should only ever be restricted if absolutely necessary.
They acknowledge that every child is always a unique individual, is morally equal to an adult, is a sexual being, and has both sexual needs and romantic and sexual rights, which parents should always respect and, wherever possible and legal, should both support and safely enable.
They acknowledge that some children start to masturbate, for sexual pleasure, at around 6 years old[cxii],[cxiii], and often begin to be sexually attracted to other people from 6 to 12 years old,[cxiv] when they may also be interested in seeing people naked, in magazines or films[cxv], or on the internet, and that some 8 or 9 year olds like to seek out pleasurable erotic experiences, including visual stimulation, masturbation and sexual fantasies[cxvi].
They recognise that, in today’s world, children of all ages, have easy and unrestricted access to unhealthy and immoral pornography on the internet, including explicit images of degrading, abusive and non-consensual sex, and that children’s natural need to see other human beings naked, which Natural Humanists believe that all human beings share, can’t easily and safely be met, in today’s unhealthy, clothing-obsessed and internet-dominated world, but can be met, easily and safely, without any difficulty at all, by children seeing human beings, of all genders and ages, fully naked, throughout their lives, by practicing social naturism in a safe, supportive Natural Humanist community.
They recognise that, throughout their time at primary school, a lot of children have a high level of curiosity about both sex and nudity[cxvii], and that some take part in sex games with their siblings or friends[cxviii], for example, one study found that 38.6% of 10-year-olds take part in these sex games[cxix].
At primary school, they may also have a romantic interest in other people as well[cxx], and their interest in sex and romantic relationships becomes higher still when they reach puberty[cxxi] (which in girls is at 9 years and 10 months old, on average[cxxii]), when they may choose to take part in mutual masturbation, or experiment sexually with each other[cxxiii], [cxxiv].
One study found that 15% of females, and 10% of males, had had some form of sexual experience with one of their siblings, which, in a minority of cases, included full sexual intercourse, and that around 75% of them didn’t consider these experiences to have been either abusive or exploitative[cxxv],[cxxvi].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that sex between family members can involve a very unhealthy power relationship, and that sex should only ever be between people who want to take part, and wish to share such fun, intimacy and pleasure with each other, but that, if such sex is considered to be unlikely to cause harm, and both parties enthusiastically want to take part, then, if managed carefully, legally and safely, it has the potential to be a hugely more gentle, affectionate and loving introduction to sex than a ‘quickie’ behind the school bike sheds, with a young and inexperienced partner, who is possibly significantly more interested in their own orgasm, or in enhancing their own social credibility, than in the personality, needs, wishes, feelings, pleasure, orgasms, or privacy of their latest ‘sexual conquest’.
Natural Humanists, as parents, believe in always keeping the lines of communication fully open with their children, keeping track of their children’s sexual and romantic interests, experiences and desires, and trying to always help them to find healthy ways of meeting all of their needs and desires safely and pleasurably, rather than ignoring them, and of developing a social network of people with whom they can explore these interests as fully, safely and legally as possible.
They acknowledge that both girls and women can experience orgasms and intense sexual pleasure, when their clitoris, vagina[cxxvii],[cxxviii],[cxxix], breasts, nipples or other erogenous zones of their body[cxxx],[cxxxi], or a combination of two or more of these, are physically stimulated, whether the girl or woman stimulates these areas herself, while masturbating, or a friend or sexual or romantic partner stimulates her body, with their fingers, tongue or lips, or by rubbing their own vulva or penis against her vulva and clitoris, or a sex toy is used to stimulate her clitoris, nipples or vagina, something that either she herself, or her friend or partner can do, or by having intercourse, where a penis enters and stimulates her vagina.
Girls and women can sometimes ejaculate when they have orgasms, which involves glands inside their body known as ‘skene’s glands’ releasing a liquid, which spurts out of their urethra (the tiny hole just above the opening of their vagina)[cxxxii]. This is perfectly normal and healthy, and the amount of fluid released can vary, with some girls and women hardly noticing it and others never experiencing or noticing it at all[cxxxiii].
Girls and women can also experience mild or even intense orgasms just by having their breasts massaged[cxxxiv] and some also find nipple stimulation sexually arousing and can reach orgasm just through stimulation of their nipples[cxxxv]. Natural Humanists acknowledge that this may be one of many non-penetrative forms of sex which, with the support of a legal professional chaperone, girls may be able to safely take part in, with anybody of their choice, if laws changed to allow this.
Infrequently, girls and women can have orgasms just due to an erotic fantasy (while awake), or a dream (while asleep), without masturbating or having sex at all[cxxxvi],[cxxxvii],[cxxxviii],[cxxxix],[cxl], and in a minority of cases, particularly in younger girls, a non-sexual fantasy about an intense connection with nature while masturbating, can, on its own, lead to an orgasm.
Girls and women, just like boys and men, often find it much easier to reach an orgasm, and to experience more intense and pleasurable orgasms, if they’re already emotionally or sexually aroused before starting to masturbate or have sex, for example if they’ve been fantasising for a long period of time beforehand, or have been flirting with a partner, or somebody else they’re attracted to.
Girls’ and women’s orgasms, are often intense and extremely pleasurable, are felt throughout their body, and usually last about 20 seconds[cxli],[cxlii], though, in theory, they can last several minutes, or even an hour[cxliii],[cxliv]. They consist of a series of muscular contractions in the pelvis, including the vagina[cxlv],[cxlvi] which are usually very pleasurable and can sometimes lead to deep relaxation and even an almost trance-like state[cxlvii].
Unlike boys and men, girls and women can often experience highly pleasurable multiple orgasms, which is where they have numerous orgasms, one after another, quite close together, with each one often stronger and more pleasurable than the last[cxlviii], as long as they continue to be physically stimulated after each orgasm[cxlix],[cl], possibly after a short delay to allow their clitoris to relax before this physical stimulation continues[cli], and as long as their vulva or vagina is sufficiently lubricated, by the vaginal fluid that’s naturally released whenever they’re sexually aroused, to prevent any type of discomfort[clii].
Orgasms usually lead to a happy and relaxed mental state and, due to the hormones that the body releases at the time of orgasm, they can become quite addictive[cliii], which is nature’s way of encouraging and rewarding us for having sex and reproducing the species.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that all human beings are sexual beings, and that girls can have orgasms even at 1 year old[cliv], so they believe that all girls and boys should be free, throughout their childhood, to masturbate as often as they wish, including with friends or romantic partners, if they wish to, but only if they can be legally and safely enabled to do so, and that, similarly, they should be free to explore and experiment with consensual intimate touching of each other’s bodies, as well as sex and romantic relationships, whenever these can be legally and safely enabled, if this is something that they freely and happily choose to do.
They believe that, at the very least, every child, of every age, should have an unrestricted legal right to give and/or receive full body, non-penetrative sensual and erotic massage, with anybody they choose, whenever this can be safely enabled, with the supervision of a legal and professional chaperone, and that they should also be entitled to be trained how to successfully give this type of massage to partners of any gender, at whatever age they wish to learn these skills.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that orgasms are beneficial to physical and mental health, help to reduce stress and increase feelings of relaxation[clv], and are a source of significant pleasure and happiness and, if shared with one or more other people, can also help to significantly bond people, emotionally, over a pleasurable shared experience and mutual kindness, and can help to build and strengthen relationships and friendships.
They acknowledge that, to be able to have an orgasm, up to 80% of women, and presumably girls too, require direct stimulation of the clitoris in their vulva[clvi],[clvii],[clviii], either by masturbation, or by a friend or romantic or sexual partner stimulating their clitoris with their fingers, tongue, lips, or a vibrator, or by rubbing their own vulva or penis repeatedly against her clitoris, which is very sensitive to pleasurable stimulation, as it contains over 8,000 sensory nerve endings[clix].
Women, and presumably girls too, are much more likely to have orgasms when masturbating or fantasising alone, than they are when having sex with a partner[clx], with only 29% of women having orgasms every time they have sex with their spouse[clxi], 33% of women never or rarely achieving orgasm during intercourse, and 10% of women having never had an orgasm at all[clxii]. Natural Humanists consider it to be the right of every girl, and every other human being, to be informed of exactly how to achieve pleasurable orgasms, so that they can enjoy these throughout their childhood and adult lives.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that only a small minority of girls and women can have an orgasm just by continuously stimulating their vagina, either during sexual intercourse, or when a sex toy, tongue or fingers are inserted into, and stimulate, their vagina, which, indirectly, also stimulates their clitoris as well[clxiii],[clxiv].
Because of this fact, Natural Humanists believe that all girls, as part of their sex education, should be specifically informed of the fact that they may well be significantly less likely to reach orgasm by having intercourse, or any other type of penetrative sex, than by stimulation of the external parts of their body, and that they should feel free, if this is what they prefer, to restrict any shared sexual experiences with other people to sexual stimulation of these external parts of their body, possibly combined, only if they’re comfortable with it, with gentle insertion of a tongue, fingers or a penis into the vagina, to create a feeling of greater physical connection and intimacy between them and their partner, and to give their partner pleasure, as an act of kindness, without actual intercourse or internal physical stimulation taking place.
This would potentially reduce the risk of both unwanted pregnancy and STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections), and Natural Humanists wouldn’t consider this to constitute the ‘taking of a person’s virginity’, as it wouldn’t involve intercourse, although they do not in any way view loss of virginity to be a negative thing, if it’s meaningfully consensual, and they believe that all girls and women should be free to lose their virginity at any age, and, indeed, believe that both a person’s first shared sexual experience, and the loss of their virginity, should be celebrated as important landmark life experiences.
They believe that, if any girl is keen to experience full penetrative sex, even if this is just as an act of kindness to her partner or partners, then she should be informed of safe and comfortable ways of gently and pleasurably preparing her body for such sexual acts, at whatever age she wishes to start doing this, and should be provided with any items, like dildos or vibrators of different lengths and girths, which could help her body to gradually and pleasurably adjust to penetration, as well as lubricating gels, and careful instruction on how to use these safely, for example by using a legal, but explicit, educational instructional video designed for children, and if she prefers it, with supervision and guidance, if necessary, appropriate and legal, to ensure her comfort and safety. They believe that any such supervision, that’s requested by a girl, should be legalised in all countries, whenever it’s in their best interests.
Natural Humanists recognise that, because girls can have orgasms right from infancy, and are more likely to reach orgasms through external stimulation of their body, every cis girl or trans boy in the world could potentially experience highly pleasurable orgasms right throughout their childhood, if they’re taught, at a very young age, how to masturbate successfully, and are given the freedom to masturbate frequently, and are possibly provided with sex toys, specifically designed for their particular age and needs.
They also recognise that all girls and all trans boys, of all ages, if they wish to, have the full capacity to give other people sexual pleasure, and potentially to share orgasms and significant emotional pleasure as well, if they masturbate in each other’s company, or share non-penetrative sexual experiences, if this is what they both, or all, wish to do.
They therefore believe that all girls, and all trans boys, have a moral right to be fully educated in suitable techniques, and to be legally and safely enabled to take part in such intimate or sexual acts, including by masturbating themselves in each other’s company, or masturbating each other, with or without sex toys, or giving or receiving oral sex, or by rubbing together their genitals, without penetration of the vagina, or simply by washing or pleasurable massage of each other’s bodies, whether or not they intend this to lead to an orgasm.
Natural Humanists also believe that all children should be given the freedom to masturbate whenever they wish to, and should be provided with somewhere private to do so, if they wish to have privacy, but that they should be taught it’s never morally wrong to masturbate in another person’s presence, if this can safely and legally be enabled, and if that person has freely given their permission for them to do so, and is not offended or distressed by it.
Natural Humanists do not consider nudity, masturbation, or sex, to be in any way dirty or rude, and they object strongly to traditional religious and cultural grooming of children and adults to be modest, and to believe that nudity and masturbation are shameful, particularly as Natural Humanists are both naturists and are polyamorous, and so often share both nudity and sex with multiple people, and believe strongly that the human body, and all forms of sex, are both natural and beautiful.
They acknowledge that, inside a girl’s or woman’s body, the surface of her vagina that’s closest to the front of her body, including an area within her body known as the ‘G-spot’, which can be reached with a finger, as well as the top section of the opening of her vagina, are the most sensitive[clxv] parts of her vagina, and can give her pleasure when stimulated, even though this isn’t always intense, rarely leads to orgasm on its own[clxvi],[clxvii],[clxviii],[clxix],[clxx],[clxxi], and is probably mainly due to the fact that her clitoris actually extends into this part of the vagina[clxxii] and, just like a penis, a girl’s or woman’s clitoris, both the part that can be seen externally in her vulva and the hidden part of it that can be stimulated from inside her vagina, increases in size and becomes more sensitive when she’s sexually aroused.
They also acknowledge that research suggests that girls and younger females may have more clitoral tissue and nerves than older women[clxxiii],[clxxiv], and may therefore be more capable of reaching orgasm through vaginal sex than older women[clxxv], which is potentially a reason why all girls should be legally allowed to have penetrative sex, if they wish to, and if this can be safely enabled.
They acknowledge that some research suggests that women, and presumably girls too, reach orgasm 81% of the time when receiving oral sex (‘cunnilingus’), but only about 25% of the time during intercourse[clxxvi], and other research suggests that they’re more likely to reach orgasm if any sex includes cunnilingus[clxxvii]. Consequently, they believe it’s very important for all children who are sexually attracted to females, to be taught how to perform oral sex proficiently, whether this is by watching videos, using artificial prosthetic vulvas, or possibly by being legally and safely enabled to practice these skills on girls or women of their choice, with mutual consent.
They acknowledge that, according to Dr. Hardwick-Smith, the three most reliable ways for any woman (and presumably any girl) to reach orgasm are (in order): 1. To use a vibrator or sex toy; 2. To masturbate herself, and 3. To be masturbated, or given oral sex, by somebody else[clxxviii]. They believe that, consequently, all children should have access to sex toys, specifically designed to best meet their specific needs, and should also, using the previously mentioned video, be taught a wide range of different ways of masturbating, and of reaching orgasm, including using these toys.
However, they also share Dr. Hardwick-Smith’s belief that it’s normal for human beings to crave intimate connection and orgasm with a partner[clxxix] and that some women (and presumably girls too) believe that sex is more satisfying if they’re emotionally connected to someone, rather than just focusing on orgasm[clxxx],[clxxxi] so Natural Humanists believe that masturbating alone, is not ideal, unless there is no alternative.
They therefore believe that the law should be changed not only to allow the creation of these educational videos, but alsoto allow both girls and boys the freedom to choose to experience sexual pleasure with any partner of their own choice, with the advice, guidance and supervision of a state registered romantic and sexual chaperone, at whatever young age, thorough, unbiased research proves that they can safely do so.
They believe that any parent who has ever experienced sexual ecstasy or the absolute joy of being in love, who chooses to deny their own children both of these life-changing pleasures, at whatever age they wish to, and can be safely and legally enabled to, is both irresponsible and abusive. Indeed, they believe that, in such cases, all children should have the legal right to have their own wishes legally enforced, if an unbiased professional panel is convinced that their wishes can be safely enabled and will improve their quality of life and/or improve their social, sexual or romantic skills.
They acknowledge that, despite the fact that children are full sexual beings from 11-13 years old, there is a shocking lack of research on children’s normal, healthy sexual behaviour and interests[clxxxii],[clxxxiii], with any research that does exist, tending to be based on unhealthy abusive sexual experiences, which have the capacity to cause distress and harm[clxxxiv].
They believe that allowing such research to guide law-makers, who produce laws which deny all children’s sexual and romantic freedom, is as ridiculous an idea, as making laws that prevent adults from ever having fun, consensual, pleasurable, orgasmic and emotionally-fulfilling sex with other adults, based solely on research about violent or non-consensual sex and rape of adults.
Natural Humanists believe that, in stark contrast to this, fun and mutually pleasurable, gentle, affectionate sexual experiences between friends, or with people who respect and care about them, which children have freely and enthusiastically chosen to take part in, have the potential to be hugely beneficial to children.
However, they acknowledge that healthy sex and relationships require compromise and cooperation, and require each person involved to have sufficient social skills and confidence, and to be able to fully understand and express their own needs, wishes and desires, something that many children, and people with intellectual impairments, may lack the ability to fully achieve.
Whoever a child, of any age, chooses to share nudity, physical affection, romantic relationships or sex with, Natural Humanists believe that this should always be meaningfully consensual, unless both parties happily and enthusiastically agree to it, and it can be supervised and safely and legally enabled, with the help of a professional chaperone, so that everybody involved can safely meet, as fully as possible, all of their own strong personal emotional and sexual needs and drives, which, throughout puberty can be just as strong as, if not stronger than, those of many adults.
Age of Puberty
The average age at which puberty begins, has reduced significantly since the 1840s [clxxxv],[clxxxvi],[clxxxvii],[clxxxviii]. In the 19th century, partly due to poor nutrition, air pollution and limited healthcare, boys didn’t start puberty until they were 17, and didn’t finish it until they were in their 20s, whereas girls didn’t usually start puberty until 15 and didn’t finish it until they were 19 [clxxxix]. Even in the 1950s, in the UK, it wasn’t at all uncommon for girls to start puberty at 15, possibly due to the rationing of food, and the limited nutrition that was available during and after the second world war.
In contrast to this, the average age for girls to start puberty reduced from 10 years and 10 months old in 1991, to 9 years and 10 months old in 2006 [cxc],[cxci], meaning that girls now reach full reproductive maturity while they’re still 13 years old and, in some cases, puberty can now start in girls as early as 8 years old, and in boys as young as 10 years old[cxcii], or, in some cases, even earlier.
Numerous things can affect when a child’s puberty begins. For example, research suggests that girls are more likely to start puberty earlier, if they have a lot of interaction with men[cxciii] and also that girls are more likely to start puberty earlier, if their mother’s new male partner becomes part of their household, possibly, totally subconsciously, due to a natural instinctive drive to compete for (and ‘mate’ with) this new male, whose ‘new’ genetic material could combine with that girl’s genetic material, to both continue the species and promote evolutionary development.
Inadequate nutrition can delay puberty, including in athletes and gymnasts, who are on a strict diet and physical activity programme, and in people with anorexia, or who are affected by malnutrition, whereas being overweight can lead to earlier puberty and to girls developing breasts before they’re 9 years old, because the body needs a lot of energy (calories) for all of puberty’s changes and growth, which can easily be obtained from excess body fat.
Early puberty can also be due to girls being exposed to oestrogen-like substances in some haircare products[cxciv], or to chemicals called phthalates in some cosmetics, plastic food containers and toys, or to a substance called BPA in plastics[cxcv].
Naturism
Natural Humanists believe that the best way for children to learn about puberty is through the lifelong practicing of naturism, in a safe and supportive naturist community, which allows them to notice differences between people’s bodies, and allows them to raise questions throughout their childhood, which should always be answered openly and honestly.
Naturism allows children to learn to treat people of all genders, including those they’re attracted to, with respect, whether or not they’re naked, while still being supervised by adults, rather than their first experience of this being when they eventually have sex, when any inappropriate behaviour won’t have been dealt with, calmly and appropriately, by adults who love and care about them. It also reduces their fascination with nudity to a healthy level, reducing the risk that they’ll become dependent on pornography to meet the unquestionable human need to see others naked.
Many children immediately dismiss any child, or adult, that they find unattractive, possibly because they consider them to not have an attractive face, or to dress unattractively, or to be overweight, or to be too young or too old, and they may completely block them out of their lives, considering them to be completely irrelevant to them, or may even become harshly critical of them, or tease or bully them, or encourage their peers to have similar critical and prejudiced opinions towards them.
If children experience social nudity with all children and adults throughout their childhood, they learn that everybody is in fact multi-faceted whole human beings, with personalities and feelings, and also with certain aesthetically or sexually attractive body parts. It also eliminates the barriers that human beings create between themselves, according to how they dress, because, when naked, everybody is the same and everyone is equal.
Naturism also allows children to quickly learn how to detect when somebody is physically attracted to them, which allows any sexual attraction between any two people to be fully out in the open, as it naturally should be, rather than being repressed and hidden. Nature ‘intended’ all human beings to be naked and, therefore, to immediately know, from body changes in human beings of all genders, who is attracted to them (and vice versa), something that everybody has the right to know, whether any sexual or romantic attraction is mutual or not.
The size and appearance of all boys’ and men’s penises are very different, as are the size and appearance of all girls’ and women’s breasts, areolae, nipples and vulvas. It’s also extremely common in girls and women for one breast to be a different size or shape to the other. Natural Humanists celebrate all such natural variations in human beings and believe that this adds significantly to the world’s beauty, as they highly value diversity, rather than uniformity.
They believe that no child should be raised to be modest, and instead, should be raised to love their own body, in all of its uniqueness, as well as the significant pleasure that it can bring to them, and the happiness that it can bring to others. Natural Humanists would never try to hide the beautiful natural flowers in their gardens from other people, and similarly, they don’t try to hide their own unique natural beauty from others either.
They believe that naturism allows children, and adults, to develop a healthy respect for each other as whole human beings, while also developing a respect for each other’s bodies, and preventing unhealthy sexualisation of natural nudity, including the use of porn, which is widespread amongst pubescent and many pre-pubescent children, due to its unrestricted availability via the internet. This includes the increasing illegal creation, mainly by boys and men, of artificial, but completely life-like naked or sexual images of girls or women, using free online ‘nudification’ websites, which demean, humiliate, dehumanise and abuse girls and women, by converting any fully-clothed image of them, without their knowledge or consent, into fake fully-nude and sexualised images, which can be shared freely with friends, or with strangers via the internet, and can be used by boys, girls, women and men while masturbating, or to humiliate girls and women, or even to bribe them.
They acknowledge that, elsewhere in the world, partly due to an unmet natural need in non-naturists to experience nudity, 1 in every 100 children in the Philippines is used, and usually abused, to create images or videos of child sexual abuse for the pornography industry, often for sale to porn users in Britain and other wealthy western countries, according to the UK’s National Crime Agency[cxcvi].
They acknowledge that the natural human need to see other human beings, of all ages and genders, naked, if it can only be met by online pornography, often results in this pornography causing very strong sexual arousal, which websites and algorithms take advantage of, to gradually expose people to more and more extreme forms of nudity and sex, which forms an addiction to these, often non-consensual or abusive images, and makes huge profits for these pornographers.
Natural Humanists believe that society should acknowledge that all children, from the start of puberty, are full ‘sexual beings’ and have a strong natural desire to have sex and to form romantic relationships. They therefore believe that all ‘underage’ sex and relationships are 100% natural, even if they’re considered to have negative consequences, but that enforced modesty, chastity and virginity are always unnatural and are both immoral and abusive.
They acknowledge that, according to the United States Supreme Court[cxcvii], “No right is held more sacred, or is more carefully guarded, by the common law, than the right of every individual to the possession and control of his own person, free from all restraint or interference of others”.
They acknowledge that children, all over the world, are denied this most basic of human rights, to ‘control of their own person’, because the law creates a very effective legal ‘chastity belt’, which ‘restrains and interferes’ with all children’s sexual and romantic freedoms, and with their right to share sexual or non-sexual nudity, with whomever they choose.
Brain Development
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, before children are 6 years old, they don’t have the ability to imagine the consequences of their decisions, or to plan effectively, but by 6 or 7 years old[cxcviii], their brains have reached 90% of their full adult size and, between 6 and 13 years old, although they can’t fully understand consequences, or make fully informed choices, they’re gradually becoming more able to do so and, by the time they’re in their teens, children can think conceptually and in abstract ways[cxcix].
By 12 or 13, children are developing more independence, and can take more responsibility[cc], but according to Farrow, children aged 13 and under, aren’t put off by the threat of strong punishment, of themselves or others, if they break rules or laws, and even if they’re told that their choices could lead to them, or others, going to prison, because, at that age, they often consider themselves to be invincible[cci].
Between 10 and 25 years old, the brain changes internally in ways that significantly affect human behaviour, particularly in parts that process thoughts and emotions[ccii].
The prefrontal cortex is the last section of the brain to fully develop, between the ages of 10 and 18, and this controls behaviour, critical thinking, impulses, judgment, planning and the ability to prioritise[cciii],[cciv]. During their teens, children’s brains also become increasingly able to interpret other people’s emotions[ccv], but they don’t have full cognitive control until they become adults[ccvi],[ccvii] and, even in their early 20s, the brain continues to develop, particularly in the frontal lobe[ccviii].
Natural Humanists recognise all of these scientific facts, but also take into account beliefs which challenge them, or show them in a different light, for example, they acknowledge that:
By around 11 years old, girls’ brains have reached full adult size, something that boys don’t achieve until they’re around 14 years old[ccix], and children are capable of understanding the consequences of their behaviour or actions as early as 12 years old, or as late as 15 years old, in some individuals, when they develop the ability for ‘abstract’ thinking[ccx].
According to Farrow, children over 14 are capable of thinking like an adult and, in some countries, are considered to be ‘mature minors’,and areallowed to consent to a lot of their own medical treatment,without parental permission, including consenting to the murder of their own child by abortion[ccxi].
According to Womack, although it usually occurs at 14 or 15, or as late as 17 years old in some cases, by as young as 11 or 12 years old, some children have the intellectual capacity to be able to think about the complexities of morality, and of right and wrong.[ccxii].
Consent
In the USA and Canada, even children who are younger than 11 years old, can, legally, be classed as mature enough to be able to fully consent, with or without their parents’ knowledge or agreement [ccxiii] and, if so, they’re allowed to legally consent to, or refuse, any healthcare treatment, as if they were an adult, including, with girls, consenting to mastectomy (removal of their breasts, possibly due to a high risk of cancer), or consenting to fully naked examinations, including those which involve the full penetration of their vagina, or the continuous feeling of, and physical manipulation of their naked breasts, or the shaving of all of their genital pubic hair, prior to a medical procedure, and, with boys, the masturbation of their penis by a nurse, to make it erect enough to fit a sheath, in order to collect urine, or with children of any gender, the full penetration of their anus during an examination, and the washing of the whole of their naked body by an unknown healthcare worker, during showers or bed-baths.
Natural Humanists believe that, if children are considered capable of legally consenting to such nudity, hugely invasive and intimate acts, and life-changing treatments, even without their parents’ permission or knowledge, then, inevitably, some children will also have the capacity to safely consent to highly pleasurable, and potentially emotionally fulfilling shared physical affection, romantic relationships and certain specific sensual or sexual acts, if they have enthusiastically asked or agreed to take part in each of them and if these acts and relationships are suitably monitored and supervised by a legal and professional chaperone.
They acknowledge that, according to the House of Lords[ccxiv], which is part of the UK’s parliament, when it comes to an ‘underage’ girl consenting to contraceptive treatment, which requires a girl to be able to both consent to this contraceptive treatment and to consent to the full sexual intercourse that might make it necessary, girls under 16 years of age are capable of giving consent,if they’re intelligent enough, and understand what’s involved[ccxv] and, as a result of this, usually,in England and Wales, children have the right to make a decision on any matter that concerns them [ccxvi], including such life-changing decisions as whether they agree to the abortion of their own unborn baby and whether they receive medication that will prevent them going through puberty, if they’re transgender, and they can even do this without their own parents being informed, if, despite being under the legal age of consent, they’re assessed as being mature enough to be capable of making up their own mind on these matters. This assessment, legally, doesn’t even have to be done in a specific way, as each Doctor can simply use their own judgement about whether each individual child is capable of giving this consent[ccxvii].
Despite the State fully acknowledging this ability of underage girls to be able to consent, the law never allows girls under 16 to legally give this consent to sex,however fun, pleasurable and orgasmic it may be, and regardless of the extent to which this sex is part of a fulfilling romantic relationship, so the State always severely punishes any adult or child over 16 who has sex with that girl, including by imprisoning them, placing them on a sex offenders register, and denying them any future contact with children, sometimes for life.
Society deliberately provides no opportunities for girls or boys who enjoy the company of adults, or children over the age of 16, or have a romantic or sexual interest in them, to meet, socialise with, or form mutually beneficial friendships or relationships with them, and indeed, in countries like the UK, if an adult meets, phones or sends a text or other message to any girl or boy who is attracted to them more than once, then this is technically classed as ‘grooming’ and can be punished as a crime.
This creates an unhealthy and totally artificial and unnatural separation between human beings of different age-groups, and prevents all concerned from benefitting from each other’s company, mentoring and affection, while also denying the formation of potentially hugely beneficial and enjoyable friendships and relationships.
It also denies all children whose sexuality incorporates some degree of exclusive, or non-exclusive attraction to adults, the opportunity to experience both romantic love and sex, as this would lead to their partner being severely punished and imprisoned, despite the fact that such loving and sexual relationships are not usually punished at all, in places like the UK, if they occur between two people who are both under 16.
Natural Humanists believe passionately in animal and human rights, and in living a natural lifestyle, and acknowledge that a basic right of all animals, including all human beings, is to have the freedom to express all of their natural behaviours. They acknowledge that wanting to form loving relationships, and to share physical affection, love, kindness, nudity, and to have sex, are all, themselves, important natural behaviours, which are important to allow human beings to meet strong human needs and to satisfy instinctive drives.
They therefore believe it’s completely immoral for anybody to deny any human being, the right to freely and fully express and satisfy all of these behaviours, unless it’s absolutely essential to do so, and it has been proved, beyond reasonable doubt that there is no possible way of safely enabling them to freely express these natural behaviours, and to safely meet these needs and satisfy these instinctive drives, with people of their choice.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, even if there is incontrovertible proof that sex between children and adults is harmful to children, unquestionably, their sharing of meaningful friendships, affection and love, in the right circumstances, and with careful supervision, has the potential to be hugely beneficial to both parties.
Natural Humanists believe that the current inflexible ‘age of consent’ laws, which immorally control children’s sexual and romantic freedom, and deny them their natural human rights, are discriminatory, and go directly against the United Nations ‘Universal Declaration of Human Rights’, which states that all human beings should have a right to be free, are equal, are entitled to equal protection of the law, and should be free from discrimination of any kind.
In 1945, the French government increased the age of consent to 15 for heterosexual sex, but, at the time, Michel Foucault argued that children aged 14 and under were potentially capable of giving meaningful consent to sex[ccxviii], and also that the lack of meaningful consent to sex (as opposed to enthusiastic verbal permission) was not a sufficient measure of whether such sex was capable of causing harm[ccxix].
Risk-taking and thrill-seeking behaviour are both more common during adolescence, between 9 and 18 years old, than in earlier childhood, or in adulthood, and whenever an adolescent child experiences extreme emotional or sexual arousal, or sexual sensations, their brains’ prefrontal cortex can often become overwhelmed, leading them to take part in risky behaviours, or to have emotional outbursts, often due to the fact that their brains are still developing[ccxx].
This can lead to risky behaviour, like drinking, smoking, taking drugs and underage and risky sex[ccxxi],[ccxxii], which are due to the brain not having yet developed the ability to resist impulses or strong natural drives, or to fully assess risks, although, by later adolescence, their ability to control behaviour and think about the future increases [ccxxiii], [ccxxiv].
Importantly, however, Natural Humanists recognise that often, adolescents take risks for the same reasons that adults do; because of their personality, and their individual interests, wishes and strong desires; they do so because they want to, and have planned to, and are keen to experience fun, excitement and pleasure, or really want to make a difference to the world, even if society, or friends or family don’t approve of what they choose to do[ccxxv].
Natural Humanists believe that each human being has their own personal moral beliefs, and that no human being should be negatively judged for doing anything that’s natural, and which is acceptable using their own ‘moral compass’. However, they also believe in encouraging each other to always live their lives in ways which do not cause harm, or physical or psychological pain or suffering, to any other human being, or to any other living thing, and this includes not taking part in sex or relationships without meaningfully informed consent.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that when girls start puberty early, boys of their own age, are significantly less physically and emotionally mature than they are, which is probably a significant reason why these girls are more likely to have relationships (and have sex) with older people, including older male friends[ccxxvi].
They also recognise that boys who start puberty early,are more likely to have sex earlier, and to create teenage pregnancies[ccxxvii], and it’s because of all of these things, that Natural Humanists believe that society and the State, have an absolute moral obligation, to ensure that there is a legal and carefully planned system of professional sexual and relationship chaperones available, to support and protect such girls and boys, allowing them the freedom to safely meet their emotional needs, and satisfy their natural sexual drives, without the risk of regret, distress, harm, or unwanted pregnancy or infections, and with as much physical pleasure as possible.
Natural Humanists believe that no sex, physical affection or sexual nudity, should ever occur between two or more people, regardless of whether they’re children or adults, unless they happily agree to this, and have both the understanding of sex and relationships, and of all of the wide range of different ways of potentially experiencing fun and pleasurable nudity, physical affection, physical touch, sexual arousal and sexual stimulation, and have the understanding of the potential consequences of sex, including regret, unplanned pregnancy, loss of virginity, STIs, negative attitudes towards themselves and any sexual or romantic partner, and any laws governing sex and relationships, as well as any punishments, of themselves or their partners, for breaking these laws.
They believe that any child or adult, who lacks the ability to fully understand the consequences of their actions, or to fully control their natural instinctive drives and impulses, should only take part in such physical affection, nudity, sex and relationships, if they can be safely enabled to understand the consequences, and to make healthy decisions, and if it’s considered unlikely that this will cause them harm or distress, now or in the future.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that puberty occurs because of hormonal signals, sent by the brain to a girl’s ovaries or a boy’s testicles, and that, throughout puberty, both girls and boys have high levels of sex hormones in their bodies[ccxxviii], with high levels of testosterone in boys allowing their genitals to grow and sperm production to begin, and with high levels of oestrogen in girls allowing their breasts and reproductive systems to develop, and allowing them to become fertile, and with these sex hormones also allowing changes in girls’ and boys’ brains, bones, hair, muscles and skin[ccxxix].
They recognise that hormones produced by the body during puberty, stimulate children’s libido (or ‘sex-drive’), which can cause powerful and compelling sensations in both girls and boys[ccxxx], meaning that children, throughout puberty, can have a very high sex-drive.
According to Sigmund Freud[ccxxxi], all children go through a ‘Phallic Stage’ of psychosexual development between 3 to 6 years old, when their sexual desire (or ‘libido’) focuses on their own genitals, and the stimulation of their genitals, and they become aware of their own, other children’s and their parents’ bodies, and want to learn about the physical differences between males and females, by undressing and exploring each other’s bodies and genitals[ccxxxii].
He believed that, at this stage, boys want to have sex with their mother, and therefore see their father as being in competition with them (the Oedipus Complex), and girls want to have sex with their father, and therefore see their mother as being in competition with them (later called the Electra Complex)[ccxxxiii], although he believed that these feelings were more emotionally intense for girls than for boys[ccxxxiv]. He believed that, at the start of the phallic stage, girl’s focus is on their clitoris, but after this stage, at 6/7 years old, their focus shifts to their vagina, and its penetration and stimulation[ccxxxv].
He believed that, at the start of puberty, human beings reach their highest level of human psycho-social maturity[ccxxxvi], which, on average, is now at around 9 years and 10 months old in girls[ccxxxvii], and at 11-12 years old in boys. He believed that, at this young age, children become capable of mature love, develop a strong sexual interest in people outside of their family, want to satisfy both their social and their sexual needs and desires, develop a conscious interest in people’s genitals, and may want to start dating[ccxxxviii], and, from the start of puberty, the Oedipus and Electra complex that they experienced earlier in their childhood reappears[ccxxxix],[ccxl], resulting in sexual interest in one parent, and competition with the other.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, as well as sex hormones causing all children to have a high sex drive during puberty, girls are also more fertile than they’ll ever be during their teens and their 20s.[ccxli] Boys remain fertile throughout their entire lives and continue to have a sex drive, whereas a woman’s drive to have sex is at its strongest in her 30’s and early 40’s, possibly due to a natural instinct to reproduce before menopause causes her to become infertile[ccxlii], reduces the blood flow to her clitoris, makes her nerves less sensitive and reduces both her sex drive and her ability to reach orgasm, unless she uses medication to increase this[ccxliii].
According to Sigmund Freud, every adult and every child has a libido[ccxliv], so they all have the same instinctive desire to have sex and to love, which exists right from infancy, and throughout their lives. This desire for sex and love, in children, increases significantly at the start of puberty, with boys’ sudden and extreme sex drive being the highest it will ever be at around 15 years old, before gradually reducing from then onwards[ccxlv].
Girls’ strong sex drive during puberty, increases even more when they start to become fertile, at 11 years and 10 months old on average, and then temporarily increases even further every month[ccxlvi],[ccxlvii], at the point when they are at their most fertile, which is during the 2 days before and after they ‘ovulate’, when their bodies release an egg, which could be fertilised if they had sexual intercourse.
Research shows that both girls and boys have an interest in both sex and romance by around 10 years old, which leads to some starting to masturbate at 10 years old, leads to 25% of girls and boys thinking about sex a lot by 11-12 years old[ccxlviii], and leads to a large proportion of both girls and boys masturbating[ccxlix], and some also having sexual fantasies[ccl], by 13 years old.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that society ignores this strong instinctive desire and need for both sex and love in children, and that parents often discourage them from masturbating, and from having truly loving and affectionate romantic relationships with people of their own choice. They also recognise that the law denies them any right to have any sex at all, until the age of consent, which, for girls, is over 6 years after they first started experiencing such strong desires, and over 4 years after they first became fertile.
Natural Humanists believe that girls and boys should have full sexual and romantic freedom, whenever this can be safely enabled, and that it’s society’s strong moral duty to both legalise this, and to do everything possible to facilitate it.
Natural Humanists recognise that human being’s strong ‘sex drive’ begins at the very start of puberty, so they believe that it’s at the very start of puberty that children stop being just physically capable of giving and receiving sexual pleasure, and become, instead, truly sexual-beings, with their own sexual needs and sexual desires, who are capable of both experiencing and sharing intense sexual pleasure, and benefitting greatly from the fun, excitement, emotional connection, and meaningful relationships, that can either accompany, or can result from, such sex, physical affection and intimacy.
Consequently, they believe strongly, that it’s society’s moral duty, to make every effort to explore all of the possible ways, in which children can be enabled to safely and fully be their natural sexual selves, and can be enabled to safely and legally have, to whatever degree is possible, full adult sexual and romantic freedom.
They believe that this should include freedom over their own gender and sexuality, over whether they practise monogamy, serial monogamy or polyamory, and over the gender, sexuality and age of their partners, including whether they’re younger or older children or are adults, as well as freedom to choose exactly which people they share affection, sensual pleasure and/or nudity with, both within and outside of these relationships. They also believe that they should have the freedom to choose partners that their parents disapprove of, with all necessary safeguards in place.
They believe that denying any human being the freedom to love anybody of their choice, is an act of true wickedness, as is to deny them the ability to find out who has such loving feelings for them. They also believe that mutual loving relationships with such people should always be fully legal, whenever they can be safely enabled, and that such safe enablement should be a moral duty of both parents and the State.
Meaningful Consent, Sex Education and Safe Enablement
Natural Humanists believe that thorough research should be carried out, to determine exactly what children of different ages are (and are not) capable of meaningfully consenting to, given their understanding at that age of exactly what is involved, of what the consequences might be, and of what the foreseeable benefits and risks are. They believe that this research should also determine exactly what difference thorough sex and relationship education, and the advice, guidance and supervision of a professional chaperone, could have on children’s ability to meaningfully consent to, and safely take part in relationships and intimate acts, if this is what they would like to be able to do.
They believe that the law should be changed to fully permit every different type of nudity, physical affection, relationship, sexual act and other forms of touch, sensual pleasure and shared intimacy, which children are considered capable of meaningfully consenting to, or being safely enabled to take part in, if they have the support of a chaperone, and if both they and their partners have had detailed sex and relationship education.
They also believe that the State should have a legal duty, to ensure that all such education and supervision is provided to every child, to safely enable this legal right, and that the State should both legalise, and require by law, the involvement of an experienced, professional and fully trained, registered and monitored chaperone, whenever this is considered to improve children’s ability to consent and/or to reduce the risk of any harm, pain, discomfort or distress.
They acknowledge that reliable, independent, unbiased research has not yet been done on ‘safe enablement’ in such circumstances, and also, that‘safe enablement’ is not legal in most countries. Consequently, they believe that, until such evidence is available, and laws have been amended to recognise this, and to legalise safe enablement, nobody should take part in any sex or romantic relationships with people considered to be incapable of consent, including all ‘underage’ children.
Separately, and equally importantly, they believe that research must be carried out to prove (or disprove) that sex and relationships with people considered (in law) to be incapable of consent, actually causes harm and distress, and to clearly define what does and does not cause this harm or distress, and exactly what harm or distress it causes.
For example does a non-sexual romantic relationship between a child and another child, or between a child and an adult, cause harm, or kissing, or mutual nudity, or washing each other in the bath or shower, or swimming or dancing naked together, or games like ‘playing Doctor’ or strip-poker, or hugging or lying on top of each other (clothed or naked), or simulated sex (when clothed), or solo masturbation in another person’s presence, or mutual masturbation, or the use on each other of remote-controlled sex toys (without any physical touch), or naked or clothed full body massage (including or excluding the genitals), or kissing just on the lips, or on the breasts or genitals as well, or full oral sex (of one or both people), and so on.
They believe that this research should also clearly determine whether any harm and distress can be eliminated or reduced to acceptable levels, given that most life decisions involve some degree of risk and could potentially have negative consequences, like crossing a busy road, and, if so, exactly how this can be achieved, for example, by thorough sexual and relationship education, which Natural Humanists believe should be a human right of all children at the start of puberty, and/or by professional assessment of both, or all, partners, and by the supervision of a professional chaperone throughout.
Natural Humanists believe strongly that, even if research proves that some forms of sex, intimacy or relationships are potentially harmful to children, whether this sex is with other children or with adults, every child, throughout their childhood, should be totally free to engage in any relationship or sensual or sexual act or naked activity, either alone or with others, that has been proven not to be likely to cause harm to somebody of their age group, or stage of development, and level of intelligence, and that, wherever necessary and appropriate, they should be safely enabled to do so, and, very importantly, that all children should have a legal right to be fully educated about all of these possible sources of pleasure as soon as they’re capable of understanding and benefitting from them. In other words, they believe that all children should be allowed to be, and should carefully be enabled to be, the sexual beings that all human beings naturally are.
They believe that, if research proves that some girls, or some boys, or some people of other genders are able to safely consent to some relationships or sex, but that some children of the same age and gender are not, then it should be possible for individual children to apply to be exempt from any restrictive laws, if they’re individually assessed to be mature enough, in the same way as, in Canada, Ontario’s ‘Health Care Consent Act’ presumes that all children and adults are capable of giving consent, to all medical matters, including those which could cause them harm, pain, embarrassment or distress, or which could even lead to their own death, or the death of their unborn child, unless there is a reason to believe that a particular child or adult is not capable of giving this consent[ccli].
They believe that all human beings have a strong moral right to be free, and to be able to take informed risks and to make mistakes, without punishment of themselves or others for doing so, and that if this research proves that the risk of harm or distress from some relationships or affectionate or intimate acts are not likely to cause harm in certain circumstances, then those specific relationship and acts, should be fully legalised in all such circumstances and, very importantly, all children should have a legal right to be clearly informed of what is and is not legal, and of what punishment they or their partner might face if breaking those laws, as part of their sexual and relationship education.
Similarly, they believe that, if a thorough sex and relationship education is considered an important way of enabling children to safely take part in such sex and relationships, then it should be the legal duty of the State to educate all children in this way, at least from the very start of their own puberty, because to not do so is to deny children the opportunity to have sexual and romantic freedom, to experience emotional and physical pleasure, and to develop important social and life skills, and is increasing their risk of having unsupervised and illegal sex and relationships; it’s like nature giving children the keys to a powerful juggernaut, when they haven’t even been taught how to safely ride a push-bike.
Natural Humanists fully recognise, that the extent to which a child needs to be able to meaningfully consent to something, as opposed to enthusiastically give their permission for it, depends to a significant extent on exactly what they’re consenting to, and how likely it is to both cause harm, and to cause happiness or pleasure, and to allow the development of important life skills.
They acknowledge that, in countries like the UK, a girl who is found to have had sex with an adult (or over 16) can be legally required (against her will), to have an invasive internal examination of her vagina, by a Doctor, even if she chose to have this sex, and even if both parties confirm that they didn’t have intercourse, as this is considered legal to obtain evidence.
Many would consider this to be an immoral legalised sexual assault of that child by the State, which Natural Humanists consider to be completely unacceptable, particularly as all children of any age can legally consent to (or refuse) all types of medical procedure in places like Canada, unless they have been assessed and are considered unable to exercise mature and independent judgement.
They acknowledge that taking part in some relationships and sexual acts can potentially be harmful or cause pain, distress or regret to a child, if they do not have the ability to meaningfully consent to these things, and that, consequently, society has a powerful duty to protect children from these negative consequences, but, very importantly, they believe that this must be carefully balanced against the potential for significant distress, if a child is denied the right to exercise their natural rights and satisfy their strong needs and instinctive drives.
They also recognise that it can be immensely disturbing, distressing and life-changing for a child to witness somebody they care about being severely punished, and possibly controlled, and denied their full human rights, possibly for the rest of their life, because they chose to have sex or relationships with them as a child, possibly with their enthusiastic permission, just because the law has deliberately denied them, as a child, the legal right to consent.
They believe that all such distress and harm caused by the State, due to its choice of punishments for such offences, is just as immoral as any that is caused by children’s sexual or romantic partners, or is, arguably, significantly more immoral, as it’s always done in ‘cold blood’, without being driven by powerful natural needs and instinctive drives. In other words, it involves the State deliberately causing huge emotional pain and suffering, which could possibly last a lifetime, to both the person being punished and their family and loved ones, as well as to the child with whom they had a romantic relationship and/or shared sexual experiences.
They acknowledge that the fact that such laws and deliberately harmful and degrading punishments exist at all, is a recognition of the absolute ‘fact of life’, that some human beings will always be driven to do what is natural, rather than following rules or laws, and therefore the very existence of such laws and punishments, is a deliberate decision by the State to cause harm and distress to fellow human beings, through these punishments, for being who they naturally are, and for doing exactly what nature ‘intended’ them to do.
They believe that, instead, the State should find ways of safely enabling every human being to satisfy every single one of their natural human needs and genetic drives safely, without causing harm. They believe that all such safely enabled activities should then be fully legalised, worldwide, but that anybody choosing not to meet their needs in such safely enabled ways, potentially causing harm or distress to another human being as a result, should receive a significantly stronger punishment for doing so than currently exists for such offences, as they will effectively have chosen to ‘volunteer’ for these ‘consequences’ of their actions.
Very importantly, Natural Humanists also acknowledge that both the need to obtain consent, and the capabilities required to be able to give this consent, vary according to what is involved. Nobody would consider it necessary to seek a Doctor’s, psychologist’s or legal expert’s approval before a child is allowed to consent to shaking hands with an adult they meet for the first time, or to hugging a friend whenever they meet, or to an infant allowing a parent, childminder or foster carer to wash them in the bath, or for a young child to share a bath with a sibling or friend, or to undress in front of friends on sleepovers, or in front of strangers or adults in changing rooms and, in Nordic countries, such approval is not sought before children share mutual nudity with other children or adults in a public or private sauna, particularly if they’re being supervised by an adult who cares about their welfare.
Humans have existed for up to 300,000 years[cclii], but just 12,000 years ago, during the Palaeolithic era, when life expectancy was only 22-33 years old[ccliii] and 40% of people didn’t even live to be 15 years old[ccliv], it was normal for girls to start menstruating, and therefore to be capable of having intercourse and getting pregnant, at just 7-13 years old[cclv].
Because this menstruation results in both girls and women having both a higher sex drive, and an increased ability to reach orgasm, during the part of their menstrual cycle when they’re ovulating[cclvi], girls of that age would inevitably have wanted to, and would have greatly enjoyed having sex, and, consequently, some experts believe that 7-13 years old, is when nature expected girls to be fertile, and to have sex, and to reproduce the species, and they believe that, at 7-13 years old, girls would have had the level of both psychological and social maturity, that was needed to function fully as an adult in the relatively simple society that existed at that time[cclvii], so they would almost certainly have been allowed adult sexual and romantic freedom.
Today’s society, however, is much more complex, and so, in theory, girls will never again have the psychological and social maturity, or the freedom, to function fully as an adult, when they first become fertile and sexually mature, or for some years afterwards[cclviii], and so, Natural Humanists believe that, today, human beings must make every possible effort to structure society, in such a way, that girls can safely be enabled, to have as much as possible of the freedom, autonomy and independence, that their palaeolithic human ancestors had at their age.
They also believe that this difference, in girls’ age of sexual and psychological and social maturity in today’s world, must not, as it has in recent decades and centuries, be used as a justification by parents, other adults, religious organisations or the State, to deny them these natural rights and freedoms, or as an opportunity to coercively control their behaviour and beliefs, and to deny them the fulfilment, happiness and pleasure that adult freedoms, relationships and sex allow them the potential to experience.
Natural Humanists believe that parents, society, and the State, all have a strong moral duty never to penalise children, or reduce their freedom, rights or quality of life, because of any perceived impairment of their ability to fully perceive consequences, control natural impulses, or fully appreciate ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.
Consequently, they believe that parents, society, and the State, all have a strong collective responsibility and moral duty to cooperate with each other, to provide whatever instruction, advice, guidance, supervision and practical and emotional support is necessary, to allow every child, whenever possible, to safely and legally live as nature intended, including having sex and fulfilling relationships, taking risks, and taking part in any activities, of their choice, which could be fun, exciting, or pleasurable, or which could increase their knowledge, experience, social, sexual and life skills, independence, happiness or understanding of consequences, or could allow them to connect in meaningful and mutually pleasurable ways with other people, whenever they wish to and can be safely and legally enabled to do so.
In other words, Natural Humanists believe that parents, society and the State, should view all children as young, but nevertheless, full human beings, who should always have the same rights and freedoms as adults, whenever this can be safely enabled, and that they also have an absolute moral duty to cooperate, to fully facilitate this safe enablement.
They believe that, without exception, it’s never morally right for any human being to restrict the freedom and natural rights and behaviours of any adult or child, or for the State to criminalise or punish these things, unless it’s already been proved that doing so is essential for that person’s safety, or for the safety of others, and that there is no reasonable way of safely enabling these things, including by using technology, and even then, this should be regularly reassessed to ensure that any recent technological developments or research haven’t provided ways of facilitating their safe enablement.
They believe that all forms of control should always be a last resort, when every other option has been fully considered, and has been proved to be unworkable.
They believe that parenting of adolescent children should never be about ‘nannying’ them, or infantilising them, but instead, should always be about respecting their individuality, and their own unique needs, hopes, goals, wishes and desires, about maximising their independence, confidence, self-esteem, life-skills and experience, and about safe enablement, learning from mistakes and becoming stronger and more discerning as a result, not about coercive control and denial of natural freedoms,which Natural Humanists consider to be totally unacceptable, and to have no place in the modern world.
They believe that denying children this assistance and freedom, is denying them the right to be treated equally as fellow human beings, and is an unacceptable form of deliberate abuse, regardless of whether such abuse is traditionally considered ‘normal’, ‘acceptable’, or even ‘necessary’, as Natural Humanists prefer never to accept ‘received wisdom’, or to follow society’s norms or traditions, unless they have carefully thought them through and believe them to be necessary, beneficial or harmless.
In other words, Natural Humanists believe strongly that, ‘like a true nature’s child’, we were all ‘born to be wild’ [cclix]
Age of Consent
Human-like creatures, who were our own direct ancestors, have existed for 2½ million years, but it’s only for around 0.1% of this time, during our own recent history, that, in many countries of the world, young people have been denied the right to have sex if they’re under a legally-enforced ‘age of consent’, which is now usually 16 years of age, but in some countries can be as high as 18 or 21 years, or as young as 12 years, and has changed throughout our recent history, for example, in Britain, having sex with a girl was completely legal from the age of 12 years old right up to 1875[cclx],[cclxi], and it was also legal to marry a 12 year old girl as recently as 1929[cclxii],[cclxiii].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that each country sets its age of consent, based on their beliefs about the age at which children have the ability to give informed consent; about the age at which they believe it’s safe for children to give that consent to sex and therefore to have full sexual and romantic freedom. Inevitably, at least one of these countries must be wrong, as the age of consent varies from 12 to 21 years old. They also recognise that, in most countries, the age of consent was originally extremely low and that, in most cases, the decision to raise it was due to the beliefs of certain religious groups, or an attempt to control girls’ modesty, chastity and virginity, or an attempt to deal with problems of child prostitution, rather than dealing with that crime in more appropriate ways, without any attempt to preserve children’s sexual and romantic freedom.
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, in some countries, it remains culturally acceptable, even today, for adults to marry, have sex, and have babies, with girls as young as 12 years old, but, given the girls’ inability to meaningfully consent, and societal grooming of these girls to consider this to be appropriate, and lack of necessarily skilled, professional, experienced and monitored chaperones to oversee all aspects of this, which would almost certainly be impractical anyway, Natural Humanists believe that marriage at such a young age is immoral, as is any sexual relationship between an adult and a child, where the needs, rights and freedoms of children are considered less important than those of adults, or where adults have the opportunity, and even the legal right to control children.
In Britain, during the lifetime of some older people who are still alive today, any girl who chose to exercise her natural right, to love and to have sex with anybody of her choice, and who decided to have sex with a man, was declared to be a ‘wicked temptress’ who had ‘inflamed the desires’ of a man and to have ‘sinned against God’.
Consequently girls were severely punished, including by being sent to ‘mental asylums’ or to homes for ‘fallen women’, where they were deliberately abused, controlled, degraded and even enslaved by the State or religious organisations and, if they’d become pregnant, would sometimes be deliberately denied access to pain relief during childbirth, and would often have their babies forcibly removed and given to adoptive families against their will, with no legal right to ever see their children again.
These were all deliberate decisions by the State, and by religious organisations to severely abuse children, just because they’d exercised their own free will, and had chosen to give and receive physical and emotional pleasure, often as a way of sharing happiness, affection and love, and of building and strengthening romantic relationships.
More recently, laws were introduced which acknowledged that a small minority of adults deliberately take advantage of children’s lack of knowledge, experience, social skill and confidence, and abuse their relative power, forcing girls or boys to have sex, or grooming them to agree to it.
These laws resulted in every adult who had sex with a girl or boy, being severely punished by the State, regardless of whether the sex was gentle, affectionate and mutually pleasurable, and regardless of whether the girl or boy concerned had enthusiastically agreed to this sex, or had even asked for it, or initiated it themselves, and regardless of whether the adult concerned had deliberately or knowingly ‘groomed’ the child concerned, or whether it was part of a loving relationship.
Natural Humanists recognise that, arguably, this was directly comparable to making it illegal for any man to have sex with any woman, with mutual consent, just because a small minority of men rape women, or a small minority of men have coercively-controlling relationships with women.
These laws still exist today, and result in all adults (and even children over 16) who have been found to have had romantic relationships and sex with people under 16, going to prison for many years, being publicly declared to be a deliberately abusive child-abuser and sex offender, and having the whole of the rest of their lives controlled by the State, having to spend possibly the rest of their lives on a police ‘Sex Offenders Register’, being denied the right to have contact with their own children, the right to ever start a family or raise children, or the right to work with children in the future, and even to them being denied the right to have a conversation with any child, for many years after they’re eventually released from prison.
It’s also resulted in any sex which any adult has with a young person, being forever described, in law, as sexual assault, sexual abuse and/or ‘statutory rape’, and in any loving act that led up to this sex, such as going on dates, sending love letters, etc., being forever described as ‘deliberate grooming’.
Natural Humanists believe that the definition of the word ‘abuse’, is the intentional causing of emotional or physical pain, distress or harm, not the unexpected and unintentional causing of this pain, distress or harm, and they therefore believe that somebody who didn’t intend or expect to cause pain, distress or harm, should never be described as ‘abusive’ or as an ‘abuser’, if the young person concerned was believed to have enthusiastically agreed to take part in the relationship, physical affection or sex, was believed to have gained emotional and/or physical pleasure from it, and was not deliberately coerced or groomed into agreeing to it.
Natural Humanists believe that the choice of any human being to form a loving relationship, or to share physical affection, nudity, or to have sex, should always be about them exercising free-will, and gaining pleasure in safe and healthy ways. They therefore believe that every human being, of every age, should have the absolute legal and moral right, in a way that’s not abusive, to love, share physical affection and nudity, and to have any form of sex with any person, or people, they choose, and that to unnecessarily deny them this natural right is itself an intolerable abuse of the State’s power, particularly if there is a way of safely enabling these things.
The ‘age of consent’ is the age at which a child is considered to be fully capable of agreeing to take part in sexual acts, so is therefore the age at which they are legally allowed to give this consent to sex. Before this age, no matter how much they want to have sex, and no matter how much sexual and emotional pleasure they might gain from it, their decision to agree to, or request sex is effectively ignored, so any sex that does take place is considered to be non-consensual, and therefore illegal.
Consequently, anybody over the legal age of consent who has sex with anybody under the legal age of consent, can’t claim to have had consensual sex[cclxiv],and is therefore considered to have sexually abused a child, even if that child asked for, or initiated the sex, gave their enthusiastic permission for it, enjoyed it, and found it emotionally fulfilling, and even if it was part of a loving relationship.
Natural Humanists recognise that one problem with this, is that the age of consent varies from country to country, and has also varied within each country throughout history, and so sex which today, in some countries, will lead to many years of imprisonment, and possibly a lifetime on a ‘sex offenders register’, would be completely legal in those same countries if it had happened in past decades or centuries, and would also be completely legal if it had happened today in some other countries of the world.
For example, today, the age of consent is just 12 years old in Cuba, is between 12 and 18 in Mexico, is 13 in Argentina, Niger and Western Sahara and, in many Muslim states, it’s 14 (if the sex is between a married couple), whereas in many countries of the world, including the UK, it’s now 16[cclxv].
Historically, in traditional societies, the age of consent was chosen by each family or tribe, and was often linked to visible signs of puberty, or to the start of a girl’s periods[cclxvi], which currently start at 11 years and 10 months old on average[cclxvii].
In the 1100s, children in Europe were considered to be old enough to meaningfully consent to marry, and to have sex within marriage, if they were over 7 years old[cclxviii], whereas in England, from 1275 right up to 1875, it was legal to have sex with a girl who was 12 years old, and also to marry her at that age[cclxix]. 12 was also the age of consent in China from 1373, because at that age, girls were considered to have ‘rational sexual desires’ [cclxx].
In the 1500s, some Italian and German states permitted full sexual intercourse with 12 year old girls, as did other European countries by the end of the 1700s, whereas in Portugal, Spain and Denmark the age of consent was between 10 and 12 years old[cclxxi] and, in France, from 1791, it was 11 years old, but later increased to 13 in 1863 [cclxxii] and, since 1945, has been 15 [cclxxiii].
In Australia, in the 1700s, it was usually parents, not the State, who decided on any punishment of their children for having sex, and it was the children themselves who were considered to have ‘done wrong’, not their older partner, as children were considered to be “inherently sinful and vulnerable to sexual temptations” [cclxxiv], or, as Natural Humanists would see it, naturally free and open-minded, and driven by strong natural desires.
Until the 1800s, the age of consent in western countries varied between 10 and 13 years old[cclxxv]. In England it was between 10 and 12 years old, but increased to 13 in Great Britain and Ireland in 1875, and was only then increased to its current level of 16, because of concerns about widespread child prostitution and child sexual slavery, not because of concerns about girls’ ability to consent, so it was a reactionary response to a serious societal problem, not a rational and reasoned decision that ensured girls and boys safety, while maximising their personal freedom, personal development and pleasure.
In Spain, the age of consent was 12 until as recently as 1999, when it increased to 13 [cclxxvi], [cclxxvii], before increasing again to 16 in 2015 [cclxxviii],[cclxxix],[cclxxx],[cclxxxi], whereas in Germany, the age of consent is now 14 and in Iceland[cclxxxii], Croatia[cclxxxiii], and Slovenia it’s 15[cclxxxiv].
In the United States, the age of consent was 7 years old until 1895 and was 10 to 12 in most states until as late as the 1880s [cclxxxv], but a campaign by women led to it being increased to 16 or 18 in most states by 1920 [cclxxxvi],[cclxxxvii] after which, laws gradually changed in France, Portugal, Denmark and some other countries, to increase the minimum age to between 13 and 16 [cclxxxviii], but again, this was not due to concerns for girls safety and didn’t consider their natural needs, their individual wishes or their freedom to choose, and was instead about imposing on them the questionable moral beliefs of the powerful majority at that time.
Even today’s consent laws (worldwide) are significantly due to a wish to allow, or possibly to require, children, particularly girls, to be ‘childlike and innocent’, or to ensure that they’re ‘in-line’ with religious or cultural teachings or traditions, rather than allowing them to be the young ‘Natural Adults’ and sexual beings that Natural Humanists consider them to be.
Natural Humanists recognise the irony that, children’s natural rights and freedoms are deliberately controlled and denied, worldwide, until they reach the arbitrary ‘age of consent’, dictated by their nation’s or state’s government, because they’re considered to be incapable of making ‘appropriate’ decisions and controlling their behaviour, but, at the same time, they’re usually considered to be capable of being fully ‘criminally responsible’ for everything that they do, or don’t do, at a much younger age, for example at just 10 years old in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
In some countries ‘underage’ sex is allowed as long as it’s within marriage, for example in Yemen, where it’s legal to have sex with a person from whatever age they personally start puberty, if this sex is within marriage and, in Iran, where married couples can have penetrative sex if a girl is at least 9 years old and can have any other type of sex even with early infants.[cclxxxix],[ccxc],[ccxci] Natural Humanists are completely against the legalised sexual slavery of children that all such marital laws enable and are against any sex with children that is not safely and legally chaperoned.
In some countries, regardless of any age of consent laws, children have the freedom to have sex without either themselves or their partner being criminalised, including in the UK if both partners are less than 16 years old, or in Canada[ccxcii],[ccxciii], where, although the age of consent is 16, any child can have sex (from birth onwards) if there partner is also a child, and is no more than a certain number of years older than them.
Natural Humanists support such flexible thinking and acknowledgment of children’s sexual needs, drives and freedom, but do not agree with ‘demonising’ older children and adults, whose ages are above these limits, and who are therefore automatically assumed to be abusive.
In some countries, the age of consent is higher for gay and anal sex, such as in the Bahamas, the Cayman Islands, Paraguay and Suriname, whereas in the UK, Canada and Western Australia, although the age of consent is now 16 for everybody, until very recently, it was 16 in the UK for sex between a male and a female, but 21 for sex between males, whereas all girls and women could legally have sex with each other at any age.
One important fact here is that sex between a girl of any age and a woman, was considered to be legal and to not require informed consent, but sex between that same girl and a man, even if they only performed identical sexual acts, did require this consent and was illegal and punishable, very harshly, by law.
Similarly, in New Zealand, until 2005, it was fully legal for a woman to have sex with underage boys, but men who only performed identical sexual acts with these same boys, or with girls, would be harshly punished[ccxciv].
Undoubtedly, many, if not all laws regarding sexual consent, were, and arguably still are, based on discriminatory views about men, seeing them all as aggressors, and, inappropriately, always seeing girls, particularly during and after puberty, as passive victims, rather than recognising that they’re sexual beings, with strong natural romantic and sexual desires, needs and rights.
This has allowed the State, dominated by inappropriate traditional cultural and religious values and populist thinking, to unhealthily and immorally coercively control girls’, and to a lesser extent boys’ modesty, chastity and virginity, and to strongly punish those romantic and/or sexual partners that these children willingly choose to have sex with, and, in that way, has legally and very successfully, but hugely immorally and abusively, ‘used’ these children as ‘jailbait’ to catch and degrade those people (mainly men) whose personal morality (or gender) the State, and those with questionable populist and conservative morals, object to.
They believe that in many ways, children are more likely to experience unnecessary discomfort during sex, are more likely to have unsafe sex and become pregnant or develop an STI, are more likely to be pressured into doing things they don’t want to do, are more likely to be photographed naked, with or without their permission (which could result in their image being shared without their consent), are more likely to be ‘used’ for sex and then ‘dumped’, are more likely to be later ‘shamed’ for their sexual technique or experience, and are significantly less likely to experience orgasms and sexual pleasure, if, as is fairly common today, they have unsupervised sex with a young and inexperienced underage child, than if this sex, and any romantic relationship in which it occurs, is with an adult, and is carefully monitored and supervised, throughout, by a trained, qualified, experienced, registered professional chaperone, with full details of every contact and action carefully recorded, so that it can be accessed by chaperones for the whole of the rest of that adult’s life.
Natural Humanists, however, consider Chaperones to be only part of the solution. For a child to be able to safely take part in intimate relationships, they need to be well educated in all aspects of sex and relationships. Both the World Health Organisation and UNESCO, believe it’s important for young people’s personal development, human rights and well-being, as well as for public health, to provide every child with a thorough, comprehensive sex education[ccxcv], which provides detailed, accurate information about all areas of relationships and reproductive health, and about sex, sexuality, sexual pleasure, consent, contraception, safe sex, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), sexual orientations, gender identities and relationship skills.
In Norway, for example, a series of sex education videos, called ‘Sex and Stuff’, which is part of a science series called ‘Newton’, is intended for 8–12-year-olds, and includes explicit information about sex, images of simulated masturbation and sexual intercourse and teaches about anatomy, including clearly demonstrating the normal changes that occur during puberty[ccxcvi].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that, according to research, early and complete sex education does not increase the likelihood that children will become sexually active. Instead, research proves that it actually increases children’s sexual health[ccxcvii], including reducing levels of unplanned pregnancy and STIs, and that it’s particularly beneficial to people of minority sexualities, and those who are transgender.
Natural Humanists believe that such education should be provided, in a basic form, from infancy onwards, to meet the natural needs of children of that age, covering things like names of body parts, consent, masturbation, touching, personal space, genders and sexualities.
However, they believe that, before the start of puberty, all children should be taught everything there is to know about puberty, sex and relationships, and that this should be timed to reflect the fact that children often start puberty at very different ages, and that a lot of unhelpful and misleading information and opinion is often freely accessible to them online, together with explicit and possibly distressing hardcore pornography, including images of violent, abusive and non-consensual sex.
Natural Humanists believe that this education should also explore with children, individuality, mutual respect, and the importance of people meeting each other’s needs for love, affection and sensual and sexual pleasure, not just their own, but only when this fits in with their own beliefs and values.
They believe that such education shouldn’t attempt to hide any information from children, and should include actual images of children of various ages naked, to show how puberty can affect people differently, with all such images only used when the children pictured have themselves reached an age where they can legally consent to such a use of these images, with any laws modified to allow this, and should show actual demonstrations of different types of pleasurable consensual nudity, sex and sensual touching, including washing or massaging each other’s bodies, naked hugging, kissing the body, masturbating each other, oral sex and various positions for intercourse, and for gay and lesbian sex, as well as the use of sex toys, and a variety of ways somebody can masturbate themselves, because, for many children, this will be their only access to sex for many years.
They acknowledge that most children have access to extremely explicit internet porn, and that laws should be modified to allow their sex education to be just as explicit as such pornography, but should only show gentle, affectionate sex between loving couples, and also between polyamorous groups.
They believe it’s wrong to only teach about mainstream sex, as this effectively grooms children to believe that other types of sex and relationships are somehow wrong, and that sex is only or mainly for making babies, which should always only be down to the individual to decide.
Critics of comprehensive sex education, particularly of younger children, claim that it ‘sexualises’ innocent girls and boys, but Natural Humanists take the opposite view. They believe that all human beings, including all children, are already sexual-beings, and that failing to acknowledge this, and failing to prepare them for a sexual life, and denying them the ability to learn how to satisfy their sexual needs and drives fully and pleasurably, is immorally ‘desexualising’ children, and as such is dehumanising and degrading them, just as it would be degrading and abusive to force an adolescent child to wear and use a nappy, or to hold their hand when they cross the road. It’s humiliating, degrading, infantilising and abusive, and it prevents them from gaining the knowledge, skills, independence and freedom that are so crucial to all human beings’ quality of life, and which are their absolute natural birth-right.
They believe that, as children often experiment with nudity and sexual touching from a very young age, all children should be encouraged to use a very detailed and comprehensive ‘tick list’, possibly only stored on a confidential website, to state which forms of nudity, physical affection, and sensual and sexual acts they feel they would enjoy taking part in, from an exhaustive list of options. This tick list would also detail which of these things they wouldn’t like to take part in at all, and which they’d only take part in if their friend or partner wanted them to. Natural Humanists believe that all children should be encouraged to update this ‘wish list’ regularly, to make sure it’s always current and relevant, and should be encouraged to try to stick to it, rather than ever being pressured into doing things they’re not interested in or missing out on doing things they’d love to do.
They believe that all human beings’ sexual lives, including any early experiences of experimenting, must always be driven by their own personal wishes, preferences and desires, not by being bullied, pressured or groomed to try things they don’t know about, don’t feel ready for or are not interested in. They also believe that no human being’s choices should be based on enforced ignorance of all the wide range of options that are available to them and should never be due to either unhealthy grooming to be unnaturally non-sexual, or due to pressure from other people to begin their sexual lives earlier than they’re ready for.
A professionally produced educational video could be available online, worldwide, that could be accessed freely by everybody, of every age, showing people taking part in every single possible type of intimacy that is on this tick list, with all of the shared nudity, intimacy and sex shown in these videos being between real-life affectionate, loving friends, couples, or polyamorous groups, including every possible type of sex and masturbation known to humankind, every type of sex toy and how it can be used, every type of physical affection, every possible type of sex game and every possible type of sensual touch, massage and every other non-aggressive intimate act.
Natural Humanists don’t consider nudity, or any sexual or intimate act to be rude, dirty, or offensive and so would not consider this video to be in any way obscene material, and would consider it to be an extremely important form of education, particularly for children, and for adults with limited experience of sex and intimacy, allowing every adult and child to choose to add various intimate acts to their own personal confidential online ‘wish list’, based on a clear understanding of what each act involves, and possibly with each person filmed for this video commenting after each act, on how it makes them feel and why they enjoy it, as well as any negative feelings about it, possibly with the option of individual viewers being able to message each contributor to ask further specific questions they might have about that act, with this being via a chaperone, whenever this is necessary.
Natural Humanists believe that every human being, throughout their life, should be free to share any intimate experiences on their own personal ‘wish list’, with anybody they choose, whenever they wish to, as long as both they and the other people involved are capable of meaningfully consenting to this, or can be safely and legally enabled to take part, and enthusiastically wish and agree to do so. They believe that, at no point during their life, should any human being be under any pressure at all to do anything that somebody else wants them to do, but they’d prefer not to do, or should ever be made to feel bad about refusing to take part in such things and, if they’re under the age of consent, they should be encouraged and enabled to immediately report any such pressure or criticism to a chaperone, or to the Police, with all such controlling behaviour being permanently recorded on that person’s file if they use a chaperone service.
All users of such a ‘wish list’ could indicate which of these acts they’d only share with somebody they’re sexually attracted to, which they’d only share with somebody they have a mutual romantic connection with, which they’d only share with friends, or with people they admire, or with people they feel safe with, or would share with anybody, as long as it’s reciprocal, or would only share anonymously, for example if somebody had freely and happily agreed, immediately in advance, to several friends doing a particular thing to them, but didn’t know which of them had actually done it, because their eyes were closed, or they were consensually blindfolded at the time.
They believe that a similar confidential tick-box list should allow children to explore, very precisely, who they are and are not romantically and/or sexually attracted to, including which one or more genders, age-groups, personalities, levels of compassion and intellect, beliefs and values, and natures they’re attracted to (for example feminine, masculine, or non-binary in nature), and again they should be encouraged to update this list regularly, to reflect any changes, as all human beings’ sexualities and interests should always be free to evolve over time.
It may be that the list of groups of people that they’re romantically attracted to is slightly different from the list of those they’re sexually attracted to, which is again slightly different from the list of people they’d happily exchange hugs, kisses or consensual mutual nudity with, or would happily see naked, but not be seen naked by, or vice versa, and so on.
They believe that such lists would give every child and every adult the freedom to explore every area of their own sexuality, fully and freely, which would allow them to liberate themselves from the unhealthy and coercive restrictions of societal norms and parental and religious grooming. Indeed, they believe that liberating all Human beings to be freely and proudly exactly who they are, and to live every part of their life exactly the way they want to live it, as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone else, is central to Natural Humanist philosophy.
Natural Humanists believe that it’s only by learning about ourselves in these ways, that we can gain the ability to appreciate what will and will not make us happy and meet our needs. They believe that this knowledge can give us all the power to achieve our own romantic and sexual needs, and to help others to meet theirs, in ways that we’re all happy with and which don’t degrade us. To Natural Humanists, ‘knowledge is power’; the power to make ourselves and others happy, and to successfully meet important human needs, which otherwise would remain unmet, or would leave us unfulfilled, possibly for many years, for decades, or even throughout our whole lives.
They believe that children and adults should be encouraged to remain open to these interests changing over time, but should be encouraged to always respect themselves, and to not be encouraged to take part in any relationships, or any intimate acts, with people they’re not attracted to on some level, which needn’t necessarily be physical, or with people who are not kind, respectful, caring, thoughtful and gentle, or who are not sensitive to, and respectful of their needs, wishes, desires and personal space and boundaries, or don’t value them as a person, and as a unique individual, instead of just for their looks, body or social-standing. Natural Humanists believe strongly that, although it’s lovely to feel that somebody finds us physically attractive, it’s hugely more important and meaningful, for them to love, respect and value us for exactly who we are, and to gain true pleasure from our company, as a unique individual, something that every child and adult, of every gender, should have the opportunity to experience, throughout their entire life.
Natural Humanists celebrate the fact that all human beings are sexual beings, throughout both their childhood, and their adult lives, and they believe that their sexuality, which includes their need to share love and affection with people they’re attracted to, is so core to who they are as a human being, even during childhood, that for a parent to deliberately groom a child not to see themselves as a sexual being, or to not teach them about all potential sources of individual or mutual sexual pleasure, or to not allow them to experiment with affectionate relationships and sexual activities whenever they wish to and this is legal and can be safely enabled, is immoral and abusive. Similarly, they believe it’s immoral and abusive to deliberately separate children from people to whom they might be sexually and/or romantically attracted, for example, choosing to send a heterosexual boy or girl to a single-gender school, or denying them the freedom to socialise out of school hours with people of their own choice, which is also a problem for those who are bisexual, which, according to the UK’s Annual Population Survey in 2023, is as much as 9.2% of all girls and women aged 16 to 24.[ccxcviii]
Sexual and Romantic Chaperones
Natural Humanists believe that, just like adults, children have an identical need for love and physical affection and, from the start of puberty at around 9-12 years old, also have an identical strong genetic drive to share sexual and romantic experiences with others too.
They believe that romantic love, physical affection, shared nudity and sex are perfectly acceptable and natural between any two or more people, and are potentially hugely pleasurable and emotionally rewarding, but they believe that, even though these things are absolutely what nature intended us to do, this is always morally unacceptable if anybody is not capable of meaningful, informed consent, unless there is somebody available with appropriate training, knowledge, skills, experience and professional monitoring and registration, who knows that person well, fully understands their needs and wishes, and understands fully how unhealthy sex and relationships can cause harm, who can legally consent on their behalf.
Natural Humanists believe that ‘age of consent’ laws go directly against the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child, which 196 countries have agreed to be bound by, and which requires governments to always act in children’s best interests, and gives all children under 18 the right to express their opinions, and to have those opinions heard and acted upon, and the right to not have their lives subject to excessive interference. It supposedly gives all children the right to have their strong desires, needs and wishes acknowledged and safely enabled, to be given the right to love and share mutually pleasurable sex with anybody of their choice, to be allowed the right to have their decision to agree to have sex, or to form a loving relationship with any particular person acknowledged and respected, and to be allowed the right to be protected from abuse, which Natural Humanists believe should include the legal right to have, and to legally use, a Romantic and Sexual Chaperone.
Natural Humanists believe that all sex, with appropriate consent and, whenever necessary, with direct supervision,is always morally acceptable, even if some people may not approve of it. Consequently, they believe that it should always be fully legal, in all countries and regions of the world, but they also believe that sex and relationships without such consent and safeguards, or which involves some form of physical force or coercion, or deliberate grooming, can be potentially extremely harmful and distressing, and so is always completely immoral, even if it’s part of natural human behaviour.
They acknowledge that, in many countries, including the UK, Doctors are allowed to make their own personal assessment about whether each individual young child is capable of consenting to life-changing treatment and, if they believe that they are, that child is then legally allowed to give their consent, even if this goes against their parents’ wishes, and even if any subsequent medical intervention is without their parent’s knowledge.
Similarly, Natural Humanists believe that trained, qualified and registered professional Sexual and Romantic Chaperones, should be legally allowed to assess whether each individual underage child is capable of safely consenting to all or just some types of relationships, physical affection, nudity and sensual and sexual acts, without having to obtain the parents’ agreement to these assessments, or to these relationships and intimacy, or to their chaperoning of them, as they believe that all children should have the absolute right to privacy, autonomy and independence, whenever they can be safely enabled to exercise this right.
However, they believe that children should be encouraged and assisted to share this information with their parents, whenever appropriate, and that, ideally, all responsible and caring parents, supportive of their children’s sexual and romantic freedom, and of the use of chaperones, should register their children while they’re still young, and agree to accept these chaperones’ decisions, and should also, ideally, all sign up to train to become chaperones themselves, either just to one or two of their friends’ or local community’s children, on a voluntary basis, or as a part-time or full-time career.
They believe that every effort should be made to ensure that sexual and romantic chaperones have the necessary knowledge, skills and experience to be able to supervise, and safely enable, all romantic and sexual relationships and activities, between any two or more people, to ensure that the risk of any discomfort, harm or regret is eliminated or minimised, as much as possible, and to ensure that young or vulnerable people, can experience as much freedom, fun and emotional and physical pleasure as possible, and develop as many positive sexual and social skills as possible in the process.
They believe that chaperones should receive professional monitoring and supervision and should require professional training and registration, with any unprofessional behaviour resulting in them being prevented from continuing to work as a chaperone and, if appropriate, resulting in legal action against them.
They believe that chaperones could ensure that any chaperoned sex or relationships do not cause harm, for example, if the person has an intellectual impairment, or they’re too young to have fully developed the ability to appreciate, and understand the significance or potential negative consequences of their choices, or they lack the social skills, self-esteem and confidence to manage relationships, or don’t fully understand societal norms, or have an impaired ability to control their natural drives, or to manage their sexual and emotional arousal, or to satisfy their strong emotional needs in more appropriate ways, or to express their wishes, opinions and preferences clearly and assertively, or if their limited physical development, increases the risk that they might experience pain or discomfort during sex, or if differences in the age or status of sexual partners increases the risk of being groomed, exploited or coerced, or if they have a lack of experience and knowledge of sex, and of all the alternatives to sex, which involve nudity, physical touch, and/or physical affection, including massage, bathing together or washing each other and non-contact sex, such as mutual solo masturbation or the use of remote-controlled sex toys.
Consequently, they believe that it’s immoral for anyone to ever have sex or romantic relationships with anybody under the age of consent, unless that young person’s abilities have been professionally assessed, and the support of such an experienced and fully trained sexual and romantic chaperone is legal and available, to supervise, guide, teach and advise them. They believe that such a chaperone should be legally required to ensure that any sex that the young person does agree to is always gentle, respectful, and ideally affectionate and mutually pleasurable, is not likely to make them pregnant or lead to STIs, and only ever involves doing things that they know about and understand, and have confirmed, in advance, that they want to take part in, thereby protecting their safety, rights, and sexual freedom, and preventing any emotional or physical pain or harm, distress or regret, while also, at the same time, allowing their client the opportunity to practice social, sexual and relationship skills, and to experience both giving and receiving love, affection and admiration, while also maximising their emotional, sensual and sexual pleasure.
They believe that all such physical affection, nudity and sexual acts, should always be fully supervised by such a chaperone, whose only concern should be enabling that person to exercise their natural human rights, meet their natural needs, and satisfy their natural drives, and to ensure that they’re safe, happy and feel in control. They acknowledge that sex is an intense emotional experience, so believe that chaperones should be required to enable children to talk through their emotions before and after each experience and throughout any romantic relationships.
Natural Humanists believe that the law should be changed, worldwide, to require such chaperones to supervise every romantic relationship, and every act of physical affection, sexual nudity or sex, between any human being and any child under the age of consent, or anybody with a mental impairment.
They believe that these new laws should also permit all such relationships, emotional intimacy, nudity and sex, whenever a child or vulnerable adult appears to have requested it, or enthusiastically agreed to it, and if, following a careful assessment by the chaperone, it’s not considered likely to cause distress, pain or harm to anybody involved, and it’s also likely to be beneficial to them, for example by making them feel happy, loved and valued, or allowing them to experience orgasms or other forms of sensual or sexual pleasure, or allowing them to develop important social, relationship or sexual skills, or develop important friendships or romantic connections with other people.
Natural Humanists believe that the law should only allow all such decisions to be made by a fully-trained, qualified, experienced, monitored and registered professional sexual and romantic chaperone, if that chaperone knows that person well, and has assessed them fully and ascertained their abilities, wishes and needs.
They also believe that chaperones should be legally required to minimise any potential harm and regret, to make children aware of any potential negative consequences, and to teach them about the full range of activities which involve pleasurable touch, nudity, physical affection and sensual or sexual pleasure, so that they’re able to choose, in advance, exactly what they do and do not want to take part in. They acknowledge that this has the potential to ensure that, when actually taking part in these activities, arousal, impulsiveness, over-generosity or emotional pressure, don’t result in them moving on to more potentially risky or harmful activities, which they may later regret.
They acknowledge that the use of such chaperones would allow both the child and their partner to be fully assessed, would ensure that both are provided with all necessary sex and relationship education in advance, would allow compulsory supervision of all contact between the couple, and would ensure the use of suitable contraception and safe sex techniques, every single time.
They believe that if such chaperones were freely available, and if sex and relationships with their supervision were fully legal, then there is no reason why every child, of every age, shouldn’t be allowed to have full sexual and romantic freedom as a legal right. They acknowledge that this would allow them to have romantic relationships and close, affectionate, intimate friendships, and to share whatever forms of physical affection, nudity and sensual and sexual pleasure they wish, with any other human being, of any age, sexuality or gender, and to have as many such partners as they wish, at the same time, or at different times, throughout their childhood, whenever doing so would make them happy. They believe that it would be essential, however, that all of their partners were thoroughly assessed, monitored, and supervised, and that full confidential records were kept of these things, with all of this being managed by an ethical independent charity, to avoid immoral state control or invasion of privacy.
They believe that chaperones should assess in advance precisely which intimate affectionate or sexual acts each of their clients did or did not wish to take part in, and also which of these they’d like to take part in with the partner they’re with at that time, as this might be a smaller list. They should then be responsible for setting a plan for each meeting between their client and that partner, to decide which of these acts they’d like to experience during that session, so that the chaperone could ensure that that plan was not deviated from, for example due to sexual arousal or pressure from their partner, unless their client changed their mind and decided not to go ahead with one or more of the planned activities at all.
They believe that any child or adult who chose to have sex or relationships with children or vulnerable people, should themselves be thoroughly assessed, in advance, by a sexual and romantic chaperone, to ensure their suitability, and to ensure that they have enough knowledge of sex and relationships, even if this is just theoretical knowledge, rather than practical experience, and that they know about safe sex and do not have any sexually transmitted infections. They believe that all details and assessments of all chaperoned sex they ever have should be securely and confidentially stored, to inform all chaperones ever in contact with them in the future, including a fair and professional rating and review of each sexual or romantic partner, and of every contact and sexual act. This would also allow chaperones to give additional education or advice to each client, and to each of their partners, to deal with any specific weaknesses in their social or sexual skills, for the benefit of all of their future sexual and romantic partners.
All clients of chaperones should have a right to know, in advance, about any past negative ratings or reviews of people they wish to have sex or relationships with, and this alone would help to ‘police’ this system, discouraging inappropriate behaviour, and rule-breaking, and encouraging and enabling all partners to become better sexual and romantic partners. Anybody breaking necessary rules imposed by a chaperone could be suspended or permanently barred from using a chaperone with one or all potential partners and failing to use a chaperone could itself be illegal.
They believe that any such legal chaperones should also supervise all contact between a child and any adult (or person over 16), if they are in a romantic relationship, even if this relationship is never sexual, and they believe that any such adult, and also any adult who shares nudity or sex with any child, should be subject to very strong punishments if they choose not to take advantage of such a chaperone service, perhaps 3 times stricter punishments than currently exist for such offences, to reflect the fact that they will have made a deliberate decision not to use a service which exists to protect vulnerable people from harm, while allowing safe, mutually pleasurable sex and relationships, and have therefore effectively ‘volunteered’ for such consequences of their actions.
They acknowledge that the sharing of any type of nudity, or any sexual experience, can sometimes lead to regret, regardless of whether those concerned are children or adults, and that it should be a chaperone’s responsibility to minimise or eliminate the chances of such regret, but also to allow children to use regret, about doing or not doing something, as an important learning experience, to guide them to making healthier choices in the future, as one of the best ways for any human being to learn is through their mistakes.
They acknowledge that regret is part of life, and can either be minor, such as regretting eating that last cream cake, or significant, for example not telling somebody who is no longer in our life that we loved them, and, in some cases, it can even be severe, but they acknowledge that many of us also significantly regret not sharing love, affection and sex with certain people from our past, possibly as much as, or even more than, we regret any experiences that we did share with other people.
They acknowledge that sex is almost always pain-free, and is often extremely pleasurable, but they believe that no child should be denied the right to both give and experience such wonderful pleasure, just because a minority of sexual acts cause discomfort or pain the very first time in our lives that they’re performed, whether we’re an adult or a child at the time, specifically those acts which involve penetration of the vagina or anus. Consequently, they believe that, if this discomfort is inevitable at any age, then it shouldn’t, in itself, be a reason to deny a child the freedom to perform these acts, if they wish to, as long as they have been prepared for any discomfort and have agreed to take part.
They believe that each chaperone would have an important responsibility to ensure that all such pain or discomfort is completely eliminated, or minimised as much as possible, for example by teaching that person how to prepare their body, painlessly, for such acts, alone and in private, weeks or months in advance, possibly by using numerous dildos, of different lengths and girths, to allow their body to gently adapt to being penetrated, and, advising girls to fantasise or masturbate themselves before meeting a partner, to increase their body’s release of natural lubricants, and to temporarily increase the width of their vagina, as occurs naturally and automatically during female sexual arousal, to increase their vagina’s ability to be comfortably penetrated, as well as teaching their clients how to relax their pelvic muscles, to allow pain-free, gentle penetration. They believe that chaperones should be responsible for ensuring that those in their care, also always have access to suitable artificial lubricants, if they need them, before having any type of penetrative sex, and for ensuring that the initial penetration of a client’s body is always slow and gentle, to make it as comfortable and pleasurable as possible.
They believe that the most fulfilling and pleasurable sex often involves the building of strong emotional bonds, and the sharing of deep affection and intense emotional experiences. Consequently, they feel that chaperones should be required to encourage and enable all clients, and their partners, to always treat sex as more than just a means of achieving orgasm or physical pleasure. They believe they should encourage them to openly discuss their feelings, to connect with each other on an emotional level, to share compliments, kindness and affection, and to genuinely care about each other’s personality and individuality, and about each other’s feelings and emotional happiness and pleasure.
They believe that, ideally, sex should always involve mutual respect, kindness and genuine affection. They acknowledge the right of all human beings to have sex that’s not affectionate, but believe that this misses an important opportunity to share kindness, and a meaningful emotional connection with other people, and potentially devalues and even dehumanises those involved, as they believe that love and physical affection are both very strong and important human needs, and that sharing love widely and as deeply as possible, if those concerned are comfortable with it, is an extremely important way of meeting each other’s needs and of recognising, valuing, and celebrating each other’s humanity.
They believe that, if legal, all children should be able to have a free choice over who chaperones their sex and relationships, including whether it’s a member of their own extended family, a trusted family friend, or, if they prefer it, somebody who doesn’t know them at all. They believe it’s important that all children should have complete freedom of choice over whether any chaperone is a very young adult, closer to their own age, or an older person, and over their gender and sexuality, for example they may prefer somebody who is of the same sexuality to themselves, so that they can better understand their experiences, or they may wish the chaperone to be of a sexuality which means that they won’t be sexually attracted to them, or to their partner. The only non-negotiable should be that all chaperones must be fully trained, qualified, registered and monitored.
They believe that the precise sexuality of each chaperone should be assessed during their training, and that all their future clients should be informed of this sexuality. This assessment could include lie detector tests, or the use of technology to assess physical arousal in response to images of people of different ages, genders and other characteristics.
Whoever they chose to be their chaperone, that person could be required to keep confidential records of how each ‘session’ went, of all the ways future experiences could be improved, and of whether their client would like to take part in each activity again in the future with that partner, or would like to go on to take part in other intimate activities with that (or other) partners in the future.
They believe that all chaperones should be responsible for ensuring that, whenever a child wished to end contact with any partner, at any time, and for any reason, they’d be completely free to do so immediately, and that, from then onwards, any attempt to contact that child by an adult partner would be considered to be harassment, which could be dealt with safely, by legal means.
They believe that, with both their client and any of their partners, one of a chaperone’s roles should be to educate all concerned on how to obtain the maximum sensual, sexual and romantic benefit from each experience, so that each experience can be a gradual learning process for both parties, allowing the gradual development of skills and knowledge in this extremely important area of human life.
They believe that anybody, of any age, who has difficulty meeting romantic or sexual partners, or sustaining relationships, or who is prevented from satisfying their romantic or sexual needs, because of a physical or intellectual disability, mental health problem, visible physical difference (for example, a birth deformity), or because of a chronic physical health problem, or limited social skills, should have a right to be provided with additional assistance to meet their needs as fully as possible, including specialist dating services, assistive technology and sexual surrogates.
They believe that every professional adult sexual surrogate should be legally allowed to share with each of their clients, including children, any sexual experiences that their client requests, which may include mutual masturbation, intercourse and oral or anal sex. They believe that such surrogates should be monitored, rated and reviewed, police-checked, have frequent STI checks and should operate by a strict code of conduct, with any sex with children always being with the supervision of a professional chaperone, and with all surrogates either operating on a voluntary basis, or for a reasonable fee.
They believe that a child with a terminal illness, who may never reach the legal age of consent, should have enhanced legal rights to have their own expressed wishes regarding sex and relationships, given significantly greater credence than is normally the case, and they should be legally allowed to have sex and romantic relationships with anybody they choose, but only after careful assessment of both them and their intended partner, and only with the professional guidance and supervision of a chaperone, who is committed to ensuring that child’s safety and happiness, and ensuring that that they can make and express their choices freely, and that any potential negative consequences are minimised or eliminated.
Also, if any child’s physical, intellectual or psychological development is significantly ahead of their peers, such that they’re believed to be capable of meaningfully consenting to and/or benefitting from sex and relationships long before their peers, then they should be entitled to have this assessed, and to be permitted to have a lower age of consent approved for them by a court, for the rest of their childhood, to reflect this, but still to have the option of a chaperone service if they wish to use it.
Natural Humanists believe that nobody should ever have sex or relationships with anybody if this is illegal, as punishment for breaking such laws is hugely damaging for everybody concerned, not just for the person being punished. However, they also believe in campaigning to abolish or amend all laws, worldwide, which unnecessarily control or prevent any relationship, physical affection, nudity or sex which independent, unbiased, careful and thorough professional research proves are unlikely to be harmful to anybody involved, if supervised by a chaperone, or it’s likely that the risk of such harm is small, and is outweighed by the potential benefits for all those concerned.
They believe that every person ever chaperoned should be reviewed, when they become an adult, to determine any positive and negative effects they experienced, as a result of having had chaperoned sex or relationships during their childhood, to ensure that the way that people are chaperoned is constantly improved, to maximise positive and minimise negative effects, and that A.I. should be used to monitor this globally, and to suggest ways of further improving both safety and happiness for all clients.
They also believe that very careful research needs to be carried out by highly-qualified, knowledgeable and experienced psychologists, sociologists, and other professionals, to determine how young people can best be enabled to safely have sex and relationships with anybody they choose, with the constant supervision and support of such highly-trained and experienced chaperones.
Natural Humanists recognise that there is a long history of chaperones in Europe. Right from the 1700s onwards, chaperones were responsible for ensuring that a girl’s modesty, chastity and virginity were maintained, and that her natural behaviour was controlled at all times, whenever she was away from her family, especially if she was expected to meet a man[ccxcix]. In other words, it was about controlling her sexual and romantic freedom and protecting her eventual ‘value’ in the ‘marriage market’, as non-virgins were considered to have little or no ‘value’. Boys weren’t required to have chaperones at all, and their value didn’t depend on their virginity. In those day, chaperones were usually married women and were sometimes the girl’s own mother[ccc].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that the word ‘chaperone,’ is thought to originate from the name of the hood, placed over the head of a bird of prey, to stop its desire to fly[ccci]. Natural Humanists, however, have no wish at all to restrict any child’s desire or ability to ‘fly’, or to control any part of their romantic or sexual freedom, but, instead, they believe in safely enabling all children to be, both sexually and romantically, as ‘free’ as they can safely be enabled to be, whenever they wish to.
In today’s modern world, chaperones are actually a legal requirement in some countries, including the UK, and are considered both necessary and appropriate, and therefore suitable and adequate, in certain situations[cccii]. For example, in the UK, all children must be supervised by a chaperone, who must be approved by the local council, if they’re below ‘school leaving age’, and are taking part in a public performance, like a film, a play, or a concert, or they’re involved in things like sporting events, or modelling assignments, whenever they won’t be supervised by one of their parents, a schoolteacher or a home tutor[ccciii]. This chaperone must bean adult, qualified in child protection and paediatric first aid, and is fully responsible for the child’s safety and well-being while they’re away from their parents[ccciv].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that these chaperones are already fully trusted, by both parents and the State, to be alone with children, to always do the right thing, and to professionally protect children’s safety, so, they believe that, with additional training, safeguards and professional monitoring, there is no reason why they shouldn’t be trusted to manage and supervise all intimate contact between any girl or boy, and any other human being of their own personal choice, with restrictions on their choice of partner only being imposed if this has been proven, by careful research, to be absolutely necessary when a chaperone is supervising, and to be the only reasonable option, to both safely meet that child’s own needs and wishes, and to protect their safety and well-being.
They believe that a chaperone’s role should be restricted to ensuring that a young person’s specific personal needs and desires for love, physical affection, nudity and sex are assessed and recorded, and that these needs are met as fully and safely as possible at all times, and that nothing ever happens between that young person and any romantic or sexual partner, of any age, unless that young person has decided, in advance, that that’s exactly what they want to happen, and careful, unbiased professional study and research, has found no evidence that it causes significant harm or distress, at the time, or in the future, if it occurs in those circumstances, and with that level of professional supervision.
They acknowledge that trusted, respected and professional Intimacy Coordinators already exist in the movie industry, determining what levels of nudity and intimacy are fully acceptable to actors involved in sexual scenes and they recognise that some of the skills of these professionals could easily be adapted to suit the requirements of Romantic and Sexual Chaperones.
They believe that children and vulnerable adults should always be chaperoned in the most respectful way possible, including, where appropriate, by using artificial intelligence and/or specially designed clothes, body-worn sensors, rooms, furniture or any other equipment which ensures that only pre-agreed sexual activity occurs, as well as using remote video-monitoring equipment, and possibly thermal imaging cameras, to allow them to be supervised in such a way, that maximises their privacy and dignity, without compromising their safety.
A bedroom, and individual items of furniture, interchangeable screens, specific items of clothing with lockable fastenings, and tiny body-worn devices, detectable by A.I., which are attached to lockable straps, could all easily be designed in advance, and these could be selected, fitted, adjusted and checked by the chaperone before each client and any partner(s) entered the bedroom, without any sexual parts of their bodies ever being visible to the chaperone. This would then allow their client to do anything they wanted to in the bedroom, without being supervised by the chaperone at all, as Artificial Intelligence, would monitor everything that happened.
A chaperone could sit in a room that had direct access to both the bedroom, where any intimate contact would occur in privacy, and to two or more changing rooms, used, separately, by the client and each of their partners. The client and their partner would only be given access to the bedroom, by the chaperone, after the chaperone had checked any locks on body-worn clothing or straps, with any private parts of their bodies being hidden during such checks. If, at any time, the chaperone needed to swap over or adjust any furniture or devices in the bedroom, then this would only happen after those present had returned to the changing rooms, or had confirmed that they had covered themselves up, to preserve their privacy.
CCTV could be fitted in the bedroom, capturing everything that went on, and the footage could be stored for, say, 20 years, or until any child turned 18 or 21, but would never be viewable by anyone, including the chaperone, not even while it was being filmed, without the approval of the courts.
The chaperone could listen, live, to ultra-sensitive audio footage from the bedroom, so that they could hear anything that their client and their partners said, could detect any signs of distress or discomfort, and could hear any request of their client to stop the session.
If approved, but only when considered appropriate, and only when agreed by the client and their partner(s), and when in line with the chaperones’ professional etiquette, the chaperone could view live thermal-imaging camera footage of what was happening in the bedroom, so that they could clearly see what was going on, without seeing their client’s or their partners’ naked bodies, to maintain their privacy and dignity.
In theory, interchangeable furniture, clothing, body-worn devices and screens could be designed, so that, individually, or in various combinations, they could completely prevent, or could freely allow, any specific sexual or affectionate acts, so that only the approved plan of acceptable acts could ever take place in the bedroom.
For example, if a client chose to have no physical contact at all, then an optional clear rigid plastic lockable screen could divide two halves of a king-size bed, allowing two people to see each other fully or partly naked, and even to watch each other masturbate, without any ability to make physical contact with each other. The client and any partner(s) could also wear specific items of clothing with lockable fastenings, so that they could never reveal any parts of their body that had not been pre-approved by the client. One person might, for example be happy to be seen fully or partly naked, but not to see the other person fully or partly naked, or vice versa.
If, for example, a girl was happy to be masturbated and to be given oral sex, but not to have intercourse, then she could sit in a very comfortable purpose-designed chair, with a minimal but strong framework or clear screen around it, that she would hinge shut herself, and would automatically lock her in place. A hole in the framework or screen would be at a suitable distance from her vulva, and would be of a suitable size and shape, that it would comfortably allow her partner to fit their head through (to give her cunnilingus) and would comfortably allow her to be masturbated, but would totally prevent any partner’s penis reaching her vulva, while still allowing their partner’s penis to be masturbated. Similarly, the partner could also massage kiss, lick, or suck her breasts, if they’d chosen a screen with additional holes large enough, and in a suitable position, to permit this.
Alternatively, if the size of the hole in the screen that was close to her vulva was reduced further, then, if it was what the client preferred, her partner could freely masturbate her, but could not fit their head through to perform oral sex.
Alternatively, anybody with a penis could wear lockable shorts (possibly see-through) whenever anybody with a vulva who didn’t want intercourse was not themselves wearing lockable shorts (which again could possibly be see-through), and they could take it in turns to remove their underwear in order to perform any sexual acts that didn’t involve intercourse, with keys to all such shorts and other such lockable straps only existing in the changing rooms, and with the chaperone checking that no two people of opposite genders ever entered the same changing room, or ever had unlocked shorts at the same time.
If somebody didn’t want to receive oral sex, then any partner could wear a clear lockable mouth mask whenever the other person was not wearing locked shorts, but at other times they would both have full access to each other’s mouth and genitals, e.g. for kissing, masturbation, or intercourse.
If somebody didn’t want a partner’s fingers to touch any ‘private’ parts of their body, then their partner could wear locked gloves that gave them no sensory feedback from touch, e.g. boxing gloves, or clear rigid plastic ‘gloves’, whenever the other person wasn’t wearing locked shorts (or a locked bra), that was possibly see-through, or could have hard plastic inserts to prevent unapproved massaging of the breasts or genitals, or they could sit in a chair surrounded by a see-through frame or screen which allowed a full view of their body, but prevented any contact at all with certain parts of it, depending on the location, size and position of the screen (and any small or large holes in it), but gave easy access to other parts of their body.
If a client had not agreed to a partner’s penis touching any part of them, then their partner could be required to wear shorts with a lockable belt, and possibly with a rigid clear plastic crotch section, that gave no sensory feedback to that partner at all.
Special open-fronted lockable underwear with a rigid plastic section in the area of the anus, would prevent any types of anal contact, stimulation or sex that had not been pre-approved, but would allow all approved sexual acts involving the genitals and breasts.
The chaperone could oversee the locking and unlocking of any necessary furniture, screens, clothing, and any other devices, to ensure that only pre-approved acts could ever take place, and could have voice contact with their client throughout, but particularly whenever a new act was about to be performed, to ensure that they were still completely happy to perform that act.
In theory, Artificial Intelligence could potentially safely monitor every type of contact between partners, without the need for any such screens, clothing, or devices, and could automatically set off an alarm, and allow a chaperone immediate entry to the bedroom, if considered appropriate, if it ever detected any act that had not been pre-approved, or which the chaperone had confirmed, through voice contact with the client or their partner(s), that they no longer wished to take part in. Any such unapproved acts would have been recorded, from multiple angles, by high-definition CCTV cameras, to allow the collection of evidence of these breaches.
For example, the client and any partner could wear tiny devices on thin, comfortable, possibly see-through, locked straps, possibly around the neck, above and below the breasts, and interconnected straps around the waist, and at the top of each thigh, which would allow sensors and A.I. to detect exactly which body parts of one person were near other people’s body parts, automatically activating an alarm, to alert the chaperone, if unapproved contact looked like it was about to happen.
For example, A.I. could easily detect from a tiny device on a neck strap, that a partner’s head (and mouth) were near their client’s breasts or genitals, or from a tiny advice in interconnected thigh and waist straps, that two people’s genitals were close to each other’s, or that one person’s penis was close to another’s anus, or from a tiny device in a locked wrist-strap, that somebody’s hand and fingers were near an unapproved part of another person’s body.
Only if it was considered absolutely necessary, and was with the permission of the client, the chaperone could view a camera pointed at their client’s, or any partner’s face, and, if strictly necessary, at non-sexual parts of their body as well, to monitor their facial expression and body-language. This would allow them to further ensure that nothing inappropriate was happening in the bedroom, that their client was relaxed and happy, and that their partner was not using threatening facial expressions, or body language, to coerce them into continuing with a pre-agreed sexual act, that the client had since changed their mind about. Clients could be advised where, on each chair or bed, they should lie, to ensure that such cameras only ever filmed non-sexual parts of their bodies.
If new, reliable, unbiased professional research proved that intercourse, or certain other specific sexual acts, or certain other types of relationship, were likely to cause harm, distress or regret to a young person, then chaperones should only allow shared, intimate, pleasurable activities considered not to be harmful instead, for example, mutual nudity, full-body massage or kissing of the body, whether or not this includes the genitals or breasts, watching or washing each other while bathing or showering, clothed or partly-clothed simulated sex, masturbating in front of each other without touching each other’s genitals or bodies, full body hugs and ‘lie-on’ hugs, while clothed, partly-clothed or naked, simulated non-contact sex using a virtual-reality headset, or the use of sex toys, including remote-controlled toys that can be operated and variated by a partner, who needn’t even be in the same room and could operate these toys remotely, possibly via a video-link. It should always be about what would give the young person as much choice and freedom, happiness and pleasure as possible, without any harm, distress or regret.
Very importantly, Natural Humanists recognise that such professionally chaperoned, discreet and respectful sex and relationships, with people under the ‘age of consent’, is currently illegal in most countries of the world, and that punishment for somebody choosing to have sex with a chaperoned child or vulnerable person is very severe and life-changing, and that, similarly, working as such a chaperone is, itself, illegal, because anybody working in this way would themselves, in law, currently be seen as deliberately ‘causing or enabling’ the ‘abuse’ of an underage child.
Consequently, Natural Humanists believe that, unless laws change to permit such carefully chaperoned relationships, affection and sex, it’s never appropriate for anybody to have sex and romantic relationships with people who are under the age of consent.
Natural Humanists believe it’s essential to gather detailed research information about children, to allow an unbiased assessment of what types of romantic and sexual freedom children, of each age, gender and sexuality, wish to have, and exactly what they would like to be able to do freely, both sexually and romantically, that they’re currently prevented from doing, due to others’ negative opinions, or due to restrictive laws or societal norms.
They believe it’s extremely important, that every sexual act, and every type of relationship, which can, according to unbiased research, be safely enabled, should be made legal, worldwide, and should be permitted and facilitated, through education and safe enablement, to protect children’s freedom to experience a fun, pleasurable and potentially emotionally bonding love and sex life throughout their childhood, rather than having potentially 16 or more years of their life devoid of any such natural human rights, freedoms, pleasure and mutually beneficial human connection.
They acknowledge that sex is a very strong natural instinctive human drive, that sharing nudity is an important human need, and that sharing love and affection are two of the strongest human needs of all. They believe strongly that every child is as much a full human being as anybody else, and has an absolute right to be loved, to experience pleasure, to be truly happy and to be free.
FGM and Circumcision
Natural Humanists are strongly against any deliberate control of any human being’s sexual drives, desires, pleasure or freedom, and any deliberate mutilation of their body, whenever this is without their meaningful consent, particularly when that person has been groomed to believe that such unnatural acts are somehow moral or necessary.
Consequently, they are very strongly against all forms of female genital mutilation (or FGM), which is the partial or total permanent removal of a girl’s or woman’s vulva, or deliberate injury to, or symbolic cutting of her genitals, for non-medical reasons, usually shortly after birth, but sometimes as late as 5 years old, or even up to puberty or beyond[cccv]. Disgracefully, FGM is becoming more common, and UNICEF believes that the number of people affected increased from 200 million to 230 million girls and women between 2016 and 2024 [cccvi],[cccvii]. Historically, FGM has even been used by Doctors in Europe as a ‘cure’ for various ‘medical’ conditions, including for ‘excessive’ masturbation in a 15-year-old girl[cccviii].
FGM nearly always occurs without a girl’s meaningful consent, and yet it deliberately reduces, or even totally eliminates, her ability to experience sexual pleasure and orgasms, for the rest of her life. It usually involves permanently removing a girl’s clitoral hood, which covers her clitoris, so it results in her clitoris becoming less sensitive[cccix] and significantly less capable of giving her sexual pleasure and orgasms.
FGM can also involve full removal of the visible part of her clitoris (known as the ‘clitoral glans’) itself, and sometimes also removal of the inner lips (or ‘labia’) of her vulva[cccx]. Sometimes, even her outer labia are removed, and the vulva is then sewn closed, leaving only a small hole for her urine and menstrual fluid to escape, which prevents any form of masturbation or intercourse, and with the vagina then only ever being reopened when a girl or woman gets married, to allow intercourse and childbirth[cccxi].
Although FGM is sometimes (immorally and hugely unprofessionally) performed by health professionals, it’s usually performed by a traditional unqualified person called a ‘cutter’, in a girl’s home, sometimes without any anaesthetic, and using unsterilised equipment[cccxii],[cccxiii].
FGM increases the risk that girls and women will lose sexual desire altogether, and that they’ll experience pain whenever they have intercourse. It’s also been proven to cause significant, lifelong distress and harm[cccxiv],[cccxv] including chronic pain, impaired ability to masturbate or experience sexual pleasure, impaired body image and self-esteem, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, cysts, serious or even fatal bleeding, difficulty managing periods, and significant period pain, as well as significant problems getting pregnant and giving birth[cccxvi]. In some cases, it can also increase the risk of babies dying during or after childbirth, because of their mother’s FGM[cccxvii].
Natural Humanists are equally strongly opposed to the circumcision of boys, whenever this occurs for cultural or religious reasons. Circumcision is the permanent removal of a boy’s foreskin, which covers the sensitive head of his penis (known as the ‘glans’), and, although Natural Humanists are not opposed to this if it’s essential for medical reasons, they acknowledge that, in most cases, this is most certainly not the case at all, so, just like with FGM of girls, they consider circumcision to be a wicked form of deliberate, life-changing child abuse.
Worldwide, approximately 38% of males have been circumcised[cccxviii], so that’s around 1,539 million boys and men, and this circumcision usually took place without their meaningful consent, during their childhood, either soon after birth, or before puberty[cccxix].
Natural Humanists acknowledge that the foreskin is as natural as every other part of the male human body, is totally hygienic if sensible hygiene practices are followed, and, very importantly, it allows the head of the penis to always remain sensitive, so it’s more capable of experiencing sexual pleasure.
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References
[i] Wikipedia contributors. “Puberty.” 26 May 2025. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 30 May 2025. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty
[ii] Al-Sahab B, Ardern CI, Hamadeh MJ, Tamim H. “Age at menarche in Canada: results from the National Longitudinal Survey of Children & Youth”. BMC Public Health. 10 (1) (2010): 736. doi:10.1186/1471-2458-10-736. PMC 3001737. PMID 21110899. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3001737. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-Canadian_menarche-59
[iii] Hamilton-Fairley D. Obstetrics and Gynaecology (PDF) (2nd ed.). Blackwell Publishing, 2004. Archived from the original (PDF). https://web.archive.org/web/20181009065351/http:/vstudentworld.yolasite.com/resources/final_yr/gynae_obs/Hamilton%20Fairley%20Obstetrics%20and%20Gynaecology%20Lecture%20Notes%202%20Ed.pdf. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-UK_menarche-60
[iv] Al-Sahab B, Ardern CI, Hamadeh MJ, Tamim H. “Age at menarche in Canada: results from the National Longitudinal Survey of Children & Youth”. BMC Public Health. 10 (1) (2010): 736. doi:10.1186/1471-2458-10-736. PMC 3001737. PMID 21110899. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3001737. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-Canadian_menarche-59
[v] Scannapieco M, Connell-Carrick K. Understanding Child Maltreatment: An Ecological and Developmental Perspective. Oxford University Press, 2005, p. 195. ISBN 978-0-19-803563-3. https://books.google.com/books?id=h_sYc4C30VwC. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-4
[vi] Rogers L. “Girls now begin puberty aged 9”. The Times. London. 13 June 2010. https://www.thetimes.com/uk/science/article/girls-now-begin-puberty-aged-9-9v8fc6x3fmk. 16 May 2025.
[vii] Alleyne R. “Girls now reaching puberty before 10—a year sooner than 20 years ago”. The Daily Telegraph. London. 13 June 2010. Archived from the original. https://web.archive.org/web/20100614195534/http:/www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7824699/Girls-now-reaching-puberty-before-10-a-year-sooner-than-20-years-ago.html. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-5
[viii] Rogers L. “Girls now begin puberty aged 9”. The Times. London, 13 June 2010. https://www.thetimes.com/uk/science/article/girls-now-begin-puberty-aged-9-9v8fc6x3fmk. 16 May 2025. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-79
[ix] Wikipedia contributors. “Puberty.” 26 May 2025. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 30 May 2025. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty
[x] Wikipedia contributors. “Puberty.” 26 May 2025. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 30 May 2025. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty
[xi] Rogers L. “Girls now begin puberty aged 9”. The Times. London, 13 June 2010. https://www.thetimes.com/uk/science/article/girls-now-begin-puberty-aged-9-9v8fc6x3fmk. 16 May 2025. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-79
[xii] Wikipedia contributors. “Puberty.” 26 May 2025. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 30 May 2025. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty
[xiii] Scannapieco M, Connell-Carrick K. Understanding Child Maltreatment: An Ecological and Developmental Perspective. Oxford University Press, 2005 p. 195. ISBN 978-0-19-803563-3. https://books.google.com/books?id=h_sYc4C30VwC. Cited on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty#cite_note-4
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